短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10 则带翻译
①Goldfish 金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold （蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
②The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
④How do I get the gum out 我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?"
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
⑤Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw a farmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmer looked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir." 一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在
这是在哪儿吗？” 可“以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
⑥Why do you never phone me?你为什么不给我打电话？
Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead, but she has one son. He is twe nty-one and his name is Geoff. He worked in the shop in the village and lived with his mother, but then he got work in a town and went ant lived there. Its name was Greensea.
It was quite a long way from his mother's village, and she was not happy about this, bu t Geoff said, "There isn't any good work for me in the country, Mother, and I can get a lot of money in Greensea and send you some every week." Mrs Harris was very angry la st Sunday. She got in a train and went to her son's house in Greensea. Then she said to him, "Geoff, why do you never phone me?" Geoff laughed. "But, Mother", he said, "you haven't got a phone." "No," she answered, "I haven't, but
YOU'VE got one!"
我会告诉你这篇没有中文翻译吗。。。
⑦The Same Action Yields the Same Result 相同的投资相同的结果
A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and made an appoint ment with the pilot to come back and fetch them in about two weeks. At the end of the two weeks, they had shot a lot of animals that they wanted to load onto the plane. But the pilot said, "This plane won't be able to take more than one wild buffalo. You'll have to leave the others behind." Then the hunters protested, saying, "But last year, another pil ot with the same airplane let us take two buffalos and some other animals in the plane a s well." So the new pilot thought about it. He was a little bit skeptical, but finally he sai d, "OK, since you did it last year, I guess this year we can do it again." Then he loaded the two buffalos and a few other animals in, and the plane took off. Five minutes later, it crashed in a neighboring area. The three men climbed out and looked around, and one hunter said to the other, "Where do you think we are now?" The second one surveyed t he area and said, "I think we're about one mile to the left of the place we crashed last y ear."
有两个猎人包机前往一座森林，到了以后，他们和飞行员约定好两周后来接。两周后，他们射了许多动物，而且打算把这些动物全部搬上那架小飞机，可是飞行员说：“这架飞机除了
一头野牛外，没办法再多载了。你们必须把其他的猎物都留下。 ” 猎人说： “但是去年另一
个飞行员开一样的飞机， 就让我们带两只水牛， 还有一些其他的动物上机！ ” 因为他们这样 抗议，所以那个新飞行员想了一想后，尽管还是有点存疑，最后还是妥协说： “好吧！如果
”所以他装了两头水牛和一些其他的动物。结果飞机起飞
那个人瞧了一下，说： “我想大概距离去年坠机的地方西 边一英哩远！
⑧ Chief is at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.
II
"But ‘officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because
the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."
大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。 “但是警官”这个人说道， “我可以解释的”。 “保持 安静”，警察突然说道。 “我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。 “但是，警察，我，，，”。 “我 说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。
”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道 “算你运气好，因为 我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。
他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。 ” “你确定”在牢房里的
这个人说道。 “我就是新郎呀”。 ⑨ Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who si ts in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆： 我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时， 谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
⑩ Two Birds 两只鸟 Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell u s which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
去年可以做到，今年应该也可以。
五分钟后，就坠落在邻近的地方。 这 3个人从飞机爬出来看了看四周，
其中一个猎人对另 个说： “你认为我们现在在哪儿？
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)
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简单幽默英语小故事及翻译.doc
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励志小故事(中英文对照)
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英语笑话(带中文翻译)
1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。 他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying
短篇励志英语美文摘抄带翻译【三篇】
短篇励志英语美文摘抄带翻译【三篇】 导读：本文短篇励志英语美文摘抄带翻译【三篇】，仅供参考，如果觉得很不错，欢迎点评和分享。 短篇励志英语美文：A Better Tomorrow People often wonder why historians go to so much trouble to preserve millions of books, documents and records. Why do we have libraries? What good are these documents and history books? Why do we record and save the actions of men, the negotiations1 of government officials and the events during wars? We do it because, sometimes, the voice of experience can cause us to stop, look and listen. Sometimes, past records, when understood in the right way, can help us decide what to do and what not to do. If we are ever to create lasting peace, we must seek its origins in human experience and in the records of human history. From the stories of courage and devotion of men and women, we create the inspirations of youth. History records the suffering, the self-denial2, the devotion, and the heroic deeds of people in the past. These records can help us when we are confused and when we really need peace.
英语短篇幽默小故事
英语短篇幽默小故事 篇一：英语幽默小故事10篇. 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
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经典中英文对照笑话大全 导读：我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《经典中英文对照笑话大全》的内容，具体内容：幽默笑话一向为人所欣赏,是广大群众所喜欢的精神食粮。下面是我带来的经典中英文对照笑话，欢迎阅读!经典中英文对照笑话篇一?After being with her a... 幽默笑话一向为人所欣赏,是广大群众所喜欢的精神食粮。下面是我带来的经典中英文对照笑话，欢迎阅读! 经典中英文对照笑话篇一 ?After being with her all evening, the man couldnt take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died. ""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadnt, mine would have had to!" 和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。 他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。 当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说："有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。"
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4篇英语励志小短文30字【带翻译】4篇英语励志小短文30字一 Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what's next and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station: so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young. 无论是60岁还是16岁，你需要保持永不衰竭的好奇心、永不熄灭的孩提般求知的渴望和追求事业成功的欢乐与热情。在你我的心底，有一座无线电台，它能在多长时间里接收到人间万物传递来的美好、希望、欢乐、鼓舞和力量的信息，你就会年轻多长时间。 4篇英语励志小短文30字二 Sometimes we think of dreams as fantasies - it's easy to do when you have money, rent, and work. But you can't prepare yourself and jump off the cliff: you should grow your wings first. A little bit toward the dream. Step by step. Take a step forward. After all, it's your mission. 有时，我们把梦想看成是幻想——当有钱、有租金、有工作时很容易去做。但是，你也不能不加准备及跳下悬崖：你该先长出自己的翅膀。一点点的朝梦想靠近。一步一步的往前走。往前迈一步吧。毕竟，这是你的使命。
搞笑英语故事带翻译精选
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1----------------精选公文范文----------------1 英语幽默小短文加翻译:20个英语笑话爆笑超短 各位读友大家好，此文档由网络收集而来，欢迎您下载，谢谢 幽默语言是借助于语言工具来建构和表达幽默的一种方式,它是幽默的一种具体的形式。小编整理了英语幽默小短文加翻译，欢迎阅读! 英语幽默小短文加翻译篇一 终身保修 After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he’d originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket.
2----------------精选公文范文----------------2 “What’s so special about this coffin” I asked the funeral director. He replied, “It has a lifetime warranty.” 在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。英语幽默小短文加翻译篇二 献错殷勤 At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, “What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr.
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英文小笑话(带中文翻译)
The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 I think that I'm a chicken Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 Who Is the Laziest? Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class? Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father.