10个英文小笑话
10个英文小笑话
1.
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. "Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
一位列车员正要发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
2.
周一早上....正在冲泡着浓郁的咖啡，一个有趣的对话发生了...
"Daddy?How did I come into this world?"
「爹地，我是怎么来到这世界的？」
"Well,my child,someday I"ll have to tell you anyway."
「哦，儿子啊，总有一天我会让你知道的。」
"So why not today?Please!"
「拜托！为什么今天不行？」
"OK,but listen carefully."
「好吧，你仔细听着！」
"Mom and Dad met each other in a cybercafe.
「你妈和我在网吧相遇而认识，
In the restroom sof that cybercafe,dad connected to mom.
并在网吧的洗手间你妈和我使用了超级链接，
Mom at that time made some downloads from dad"s memorystick.
那时你妈从我的随身插硬盘下载一些数据，
When dad finished up loading wed is covered we used no firewall.
当我完成上传时，我们发现我们没有使用防火墙，
Since it was too late to cancel or delete,
因此，想要取消或删除都已为时太晚，
nine months later we ended up with a virus."
就这样，九个月以后我们最终生出一个病毒。」
3.
Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？
Jack: Certainly.
杰克：当然应该了。
Tom: And why?
汤姆：为什么？
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。
4.
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'
'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.' The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.' 'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。
她问店员：“这东西要多少钱？”
“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。” 老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。” 店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”
“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”
5.
Mr. Johnson: Are you using you mower this afternoon?
Mr.Smith: Yes.
Mr.Johnson: Fine. Then can I borrow your tennis racket, since you won't be needing it?
约翰逊先生：今天下午你准备用割草机吗？
史密斯先生：是的。
约翰逊先生：太好了。既然您不用网球拍，那我可以借用一下吗？
6.
They Are Directly from America
Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”
一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。”
7.
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
8.
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
9.
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
10.
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，…醉?字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？ 斯丹：浴室。 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？ 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
经典英文笑话故事带翻译大全
经典英文笑话故事带翻译大全 我对她不了解 As a courier for an express delivery service，I tried to deliver a package that required refrigeration, but found no one home. I went to the house next door and told the woman who answered that I had a package for her neighbor."Oh，she works Monday throu gh Friday and every other Saturday,“said the woman，“said the woman, "and some Sundays. She leaves about 7:40 in the morning and gets home around 5:30，unless she goes to the store, in which case it's closer to seven. And she's going to the store tonight because her kids are coming to visit her all the way from California!" 我是一名快件邮递员。我曾一次送一个需冷东的包裹。但主人不在家。我便敲开了邻 居的门，那邻居说我说的包裹是她的邻居的。“噢，她从星期一到星期五，包括每隔一个 星期六工作。”那位女邻居说.“有时她星期天也工作。她每天早上七点四十离家，下午 五点半回来。如果她要去商店，差不多七点才能回来。今天晚上她要去商店的，因为她的 孩于将 特地从加利福尼亚来看她。” When she paused to take a breath, I asked if she would accept her neighbor's package. "Oh，no, I can't do that，“she said. "I don't know her that well.” 她停下喘气的工夫，我问她能否替邻居先把这包裹收下。“峨，不行，我可不能收。”她说:“我对她不怎么了解。” 关心 A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank，dig a hole in his back yard and bury it. 一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前，埋怨存钱的利率太低。最后，他说他妥把所有的钱从 银行里取出来，在自家后院挖个坑，把钱理了。 The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir，I couldn't help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?". 隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:“先生，我实在不怒愉听，但还是听到了，告诉我， 您住在什么地才?”
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我Tm 还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："where?where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："everywhere,everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不
见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAm后羿！」 b神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAm丘比特！」 轮到c了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree. 老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，ToKoTA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，nIssAn！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，honDA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”
超简短的5个英文笑话
超简短的5个英文笑话 1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。
5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。 有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。 ” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。 他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。 A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一 句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六）
英语笑话带翻译短一些的
英语笑话带翻译短一些的 篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话 超简短的5个英文笑话1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
英语幽默小笑话六篇
英语幽默小笑话六篇 frog 青蛙 Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch." 老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。” 人们什么时候说话最少？ Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom? 老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么? Tom: Men. 汤姆:男人们。 Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? 老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢? Tom : Twins. 汤姆: 双胞胎。 谁欠谁钱 A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation. 律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗？律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写道：咨询费250美元。I Have His Ear in My Pocket I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
10个英文小笑话
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最新整理最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 生活中怎么能少了笑话来调味一下我们乏味枯燥 的日常呢?一则搞笑的小笑话就能让我们原本苦恼的心情立刻变得像春天的鲜花一样灿烂，学习啦小编为你准备了非常搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译，希望你的生活像夏日的阳光一样! 搞笑的英语小笑话1：E x p e n s i v e P r i c e D e n t i s t:I m s o r r y,m a d a m,b u t I l l h a v e t o c h a r g e y o u t w e n t y-f i v e d o l l a r s f o r p u l l i n g y o u r s o n s t o o t h. M o t h e r: T w e n t y-f i v e d o l l a r s! B u t I t h o u g h t y o u o n l y c h a r g e d f i v e d o l l a r s f o r a n e x t r a c t i o n. D e n t i s t:I u s u a l l y d o.B u t y o u r s o n y e l l e d s o l o u d,h e s c a r e d f o u r o t h e r p a t i e n t s o u t o f t h e o f f i c e. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了 搞笑的英语小笑话2：I W a s n t A s l e e p W h e n a g r o u p o f w o m e n g o t o n t h e c a r,e v e r y s e a t w a s a l r e a d y o c c u p i e d.T h e c o n d u c t o r n o t i c e d a m a n w h o s e e m e d t o b e a s l e e p, a n d f e a r i n g h e m i g h t m i s s h i s s t o p, h e n u d g e d h i m a n d s a i d:W a k e u p,s i r! I w a s n t a s l e e p,t h e m a n a n s w e r e d. N o t a s l e e p?B u t y o u h a d y o u r e y e s c l o s e d. I k n o w. I j u s t h a t e t o l o o k a t l a d i e s s t a n d i n g u p b e s i d e m e i n a c r o w d e d c a r. 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：先生，醒醒! 我没有睡着。那个男人回答。 没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀? 我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。
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十个简短的英语小笑话简短的英语小笑话带翻译阅读 笑话，会让人开心、会让人忘记烦恼，笑话，也会拉近人与人之间的距离。小编精心收集了简短的英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习! 简短的英语小笑话带翻译篇1 A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she requested that he shave his beard. ”Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.” James replied, “My wife loves this beard, I couldn’t possibly do it, she would kill me!!” ”Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a *y little voice... ”Oh really, I can’t,” he replies...”My wife loves this beard!!” The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls intobed with his wife while she was sleeping. The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here,my husband will be ho me soon!” 我丈夫马上就要回来了 一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。 “噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。” 詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。” “噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。 “可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。” 在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。 妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”简短的英语小笑话带翻译篇2 A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, “Well, I’d like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me.” The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。简短的英语小笑话带翻译篇3 A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he couldreward him. ”The best way, sir,” said the deck hand, “is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I’dpulled you out, they’d chuck me in.” 最好的奖赏
英语爆笑小笑话大全
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几则英语小笑话 1．Fine for Parking "Tell me again," asked the judge, "why you parked there?" The driver rose and answered respectfully(尊敬地), "Because, Your Honor, it said 'Fine for Parking'" (note: "fine" has two meanings 1) good 2) pay some money for doing something wrong. ［1］可以停车 “再跟我说一遍，”法官问道，“你为什么在那里停车？”司机站起身，恭敬地说，“因为，法官大人，那上面写着…fine for parking －可以停车?”（注：fine 有两个意思，⒈好的；⒉为做错事而交钱）。 2. Self-help I went into a bookstore the other day and asked the woman behind the counter where the self-help section was. She said, "If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose." (note: "self-help" has two meanings 1) you take without paying 2) you can choose as you like) ［2］自己动手 一天我走进一家书店，问柜台后面的女子，self-help－自助区在哪里。她说，“如果我告诉你，那还卖书干什么？”（注：self-help有两个意思，⒈拿东西不给钱；⒉随意挑选）。 3.I Couldn't Digest So Many Apples Doctor gravely(严肃地): "If you want to enjoy a long life, each time you feel like a drink. Eat an apple instead." Patient: "Sorry, I couldn't digest (消化）so many apples." ［3］我吃不了那么多苹果 医生严肃地说，“如果你想活得长久，每次想喝酒时，就吃个苹果。” 病人回答，“对不起，我吃不了那么多苹果。” 4.Is This a Question A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question? " A student wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The students received an "A" on the exam. ［4］这是个问题吗？ 一位大学生在哲学课上参加第一次考试。卷子上写着一行字，“这是一个问题吗？”学生写道，“如果那是一个问题，那么这就是一个答案。”学生考试得了优。 5.A Dollar Per Point A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying, "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.
小学生-英语-幽默笑话
杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，“下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。”第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：“我叔叔几月走的。”问哪个月是用哪个疑问词 Which month？ When ？ 裙子和一条黄裙子。她问她的父亲：哪条裙子是最好的？她的父亲说：我认为蓝色是最好的。她问她的母亲：你认为哪条裙子是最好的？她的母亲回答：当然是白色的了。缇娜说：谢谢。她穿上黄色的裙子出去了。哪条裙子Which skirt？ 2小龙问妈妈：“你为什么不买一部麾托车？”妈妈回答：“我没钱，买不起。”小龙说：“等我长大赚钱，就为你买一部麾托车，那时候你就可以用摩托车带我上幼儿园了。” 3 有一个老师，他是一个非常虔诚的佛教徒有一次他跟小朋友说天堂怎么好问小朋友说想不想去天堂玩结果只有一位小朋友没有举手接著又跟小朋友说地狱怎么可怕又问要去地狱的举手还是那一位小朋友没举手于是老师觉得很奇怪…。怎么天堂不去，地狱也不去就叫这位小朋友说：为何天堂不去，地狱也不去呢小朋友说：妈妈说放学后，要马上回家，那都不准去…… 你上学了，到底是什么意思？我答道我不知道，老妈说你想挨打了，是不是？就是我不知道，结果被打了一顿。 样抱着课本抑扬顿挫的朗读：.他坚守着暴风雪中的哨岗，手中紧紧握着一支钢枪.（原文） 我们听到的是. 他坚守着暴风雪中的哨岗，手中紧紧握着一支钢笔. 全班一阵沉默，老师笑倒，之后同学倒. 6注意你的同桌 老师要求学生写作文，题目是：《我长大了要干什么》。 冬冬写道：我长大了要当一名警察，帮助大家抓坏人。
[好笑的英文小笑话大全] 英文笑话大全 爆笑
[好笑的英文小笑话大全] 英文笑话大全爆笑 笑话是幽默的语言表达。它是一种常见的幽默传达方式。笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。小编精心收集了好笑的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习! 好笑的英文小笑话篇1 Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhemto ensue. 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。 The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains! 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：大减价!特便宜! The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts! 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：大砍价!大折扣! The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE. 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：入口处。好笑的英文小笑话篇2 A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. 一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。 A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor hasjust told me I’ll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life. 一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。 Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their , came the reply, but he only gave me ten. 他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。好笑的英文小笑话篇3 For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy togold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I heldmy hands up and said, “Well, you’ll notice that my hands are bare.”Later that evening I openedmy present with enthusiasm. “Happy birthday,” he said, as I unwrapped a new pair ofgardening glove. 几个月以来，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指，因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天，我正在干园艺活时，丈夫问我想要什么礼物，我举起双手说：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的两手都是光光的。”那天晚上，我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的礼物，“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看：里面包着一双园艺手套。好笑的英文小笑话篇4 One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. 一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。 ”It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two.”The boss eyed himsuspiciously. “Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?”“I finally gave up,” he said, “andstarted for home.” “外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”老板狐疑地看着他，“噢，是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”