7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage
Aside: Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of
the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist,
politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main
actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.
Our script is revised from this story . In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own SWordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and
audio to our slide.
Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish
you will like it.
Three visits to the cottage
Aside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the
legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to
attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.
SCENE 1: Liubei's home
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei
Guanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!
Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come
down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our
stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas
and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?
Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt
collectors now.
Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse
Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me
and go to the mountain for dunning!
Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.
SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s house
Actors: ZhuGeliang Zhu’s Wife ZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But
I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced
me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you
know? Y ou?(Ask the a udience) I’ve never heart
about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy
books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My
major is military advice, not English. Why should I
read this?
Wife: Darling!
ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.
Wife：My dear, how about your study?
ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I’m dizzy. Wife：Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here
for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Tianjin.(cry) ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.
Wife：Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see! ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!
Wife：Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?
ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.
Wife：You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I
didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now, ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.
Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they
dun for debts.
ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei? Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!
Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?
Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him
that boss has went to study in England.
Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of
ZhuGeliang’s house.
SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeli ang’s house
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper
Zhangfei: Let me knock the door! Open! Open!!!
Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt?
(Open the door)
Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.
Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.
Liubei: En????
Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.
Liubei: OK! We will wait for him here!
Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will be come back, so, let’s go home! Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they
didn’t see Zhugeliang as well . Two month passed, the cold winter is coming!
It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that
why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in
whiles his wife is out.
SCENE4 Outside ZhuGeliang’s house
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper
Zhangfei: Please tell me in time when you would see him next time, let me bind him up for you. It really should not trouble you to come here time and time
again.
Liubei: These days, the borrower is the god! Let’s go there again and show our the warmest heart to move them.(Knock the door)
Keeper：My boss is at home today, but he is reading books about CET-6. Please wait for a moment!
Zhangfei：Xiao Zhu! Come out! Brothers, help me to take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. Get out, or I will burn your house down!
Guanyu: Sunflower press! AI. Litter brother, big brother has said several times, We are intellectuals, understand? Don't be so rude, we are here for
debt, not for his life. If you will kill him, where is our money?
Liubei: The submortagage crisis is so serious, don’t you know that simple reason? If you know, please bat your eyes!
Zhangfei (Bat eyes)
Guanyu: sunflower press!!!!!
Zhangfei: Where did you get this KongFu?
Guanyu: Hehe! I get it from a TV program called “My Own S Word sman”, which is so popular with lots of people in China!
Zhangfei: Why not say it earlier? We three brother could run a company of Chinese KongFu if we had know that before!
Guanyu: Oh!! That is a good idea!!!!
Keeper: Don’t interrupt!!!! Boss is reading!!!
Liubei: Keep quite!!!
Aside: at this time, zhugeliang is exciting, but his wife come back soon.
SCENE 5: ZhuGeliang’s Home
Actors: ZhuGeliang wife liubei Zhangfei Guanyu ZhuGeliang: Thank goodness, here's Liubei at last. Ha ha ha ………
Wife: Wof! Darling! He may come here to ask me to repay his money. We can’t let him in.
ZhuGeliang: My darling, please don’t worry. I can make liubei go back with nothing by my sliver tongue Liubei: Mr. ZhuGeliang. I have hunted you for a long time!
Zhu: Oh! Y ou are Liubei. What can I do for you ?
Liu: my brother, you have borrowed me $500, when you repay it for me? I have starved for several days.
ZhuGeliang: I owe you $500? who can testify? Please give me
a chance, I want to be an honest man.
Liubei: How can I give you a chance? Speak it to the judge.
Zhu: Please look, although having ambition , you are just a guarder .We can enlarge our power from this
base, and then attack Caocao. At last I believe
that we can reign the whole country.
Liubei: I’m so surprised! I don’t know you are so ideal.
ZhuGeliang: If I give you a map, could I not repay your money?
Liubei: En…….you know so much about affairs, are you willing to create a new country together with us?
ZhuGeliang: But I can’t help you, I have accustom t he life at present.
Liubei: If you don’t help me , the citizen will live a harder life , please don’t refuse.
ZhuGeliang: En……sorry, I can’t. Because my wife forces me to pass the CET-6 recently. If you can help me to
resolve the problem, I will help you.
Liu: En…..
Zhangfei: (Pull) Brother, come here. Everything is fake now
such as the milk. Why can’t we find somebody help us do the test or buy a key ?
Guanyu: Yes! We can overdraft our salary from Caocao to buy the key at first.
SCENE 6: ZhuGeliang’s H ome
Actors: Wife Keeper
Aside: Because the salary has been given to zhugeliang to buy the key, Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have been starving for one month.
Keeper：（Happy）Sir , you are really a god . CET6 has got 600 scores. Be really to startle the universe and move the gods.
Wife：What happened? 600 scores? Oh! Do not shoulder your several years studying at a cold window; Do not shoulder my night holding candle accompanying you. After your Master graduates, happy life will approach.
Cars, house, money!
SCENE 7: Outside ZhuGeliang’s house
Aside: After receiving the master degree, ZhuGeliang will go to work with Liubei to establish a new Kingdom.So the couples apart.
Actors: ZhuGeliang Wife Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei
Wife：Honey!
ZhuGeliang：Darling!
Wife：Excellent man have a long-range ambition. You should put cause above everything else , are sure not to miss me.
ZhuGeliang：I will have a long journey .Please take care of yourself.(Turn around) Don’t worried, never
miss you!!(Run)
ZhuGeliang：(To Liubei)Y our Majesty, I will never forget your favour. I should be loyal and devoted to the last. Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei: Let' go!!!!!
Aside: The three men go down to the hill. That is the end of the whole story. Thank you for your attention.
旁白——话说刘关张桃园三结义之后四处奔波一时间找不到工作不得不在曹操的公司靠看大门为生而此时那个传说中的神秘人物诸葛卧龙先生正专心在家复习考试因为他的老婆黄氏逼着他参加CET-6
场景一
刘备家
刘备关羽张飞上
关羽——大哥咱们都饿了好几天了这种吃糠咽菜的生活我们要过到什么时候啊哎
刘备——二弟这大哥我怎么可能不难受嘛可是常言道人在屋檐下怎能不低头我们现在曹操的公司里给人家看大门这年头工作这么难找我们三兄弟学历又不高好不容易能
有口饭吃就很不错了哪还有什么奢求呀
张飞——大哥对了上个月后面山头诸葛亮的老婆来问我们借走了500块钱去给她老公交学费去了都好久没还我们是不是应该去要回来
关羽——是啊大哥不然的话这样下去我们就得喝西北风了
刘备——哎就是我怎么这岔给忘了走走走二弟三弟随我这就上山（收拾家伙挽袖子）旁白——兄弟三人就此上山
场景二
诸葛亮家诸葛亮上
诸葛亮——大叫好我就是绝顶聪明的诸葛亮可我最近却很是郁闷我那个娘子非要我去参加什么大学英语六级考试六级考试是个什么东西我怎么听都没听说过还要我看这么厚的书做这么多的题（拿起手里的金瓶梅给大家亮亮）我以后可是要当军师的！！又不是这个专业的干嘛还要要看这种书
老婆——相公（远处喊）诸葛亮老婆上（比较啰嗦）
诸葛亮——娘子来了我娘子啰嗦的像唐僧一样说起话来我可受不了快老实看书（装作认真状）
老婆——相公你的书背的怎么样了
诸葛亮——娘子啊这些书看得我头昏眼花光想打瞌睡
老婆——哎相公呀你有所不知你看现在外面竞争这么激烈你要是不好好考六级将来拿个硕士文凭以后找不到工作可怎么办呀我们在这个小村子里都呆了小半辈子了你看我连稍微大一点的城市像铁岭都没去过
诸葛亮——娘子你看老公我这么有才华以后还愁找不到工作么这些书太简单了统统不用看（扔书）
老婆——哼！！你说简单那我考考你
诸葛亮——怎么还要考我舌战群儒我都不怕小小考试焉能难道我（对观众说）
老婆——我要考你听写（诸葛亮郁闷状）听着apple怎么写desk怎么写
诸葛亮——（不会抓耳挠腮）
老婆——相公啊你连这都不会可怎么办呀哎呀我错了我真的错了我从一开始就不应该嫁过来如果我不嫁过来就不会流落到这么一个伤心的地方我好后悔呀
诸葛亮——崩溃了（捂耳朵忙劝）
诸葛亮——娘子莫哭娘子莫哭相公好好看书就是
老婆——（马上变脸）这还差不多你知道么为了供你读书咱们家已经欠了外面一屁股债连看大门的我都借过如果这些人上门来逼债我可怎么办呀
诸葛亮——娘子你说看大门的？莫非就是呢个看大门的刘备（抓胡子兴奋点头）
老婆——正是此人书童你快过来
书童上
书童——主人有何吩咐
老婆——书童听着相公近日温习功课外人一律不见来人就说去国外游玩讲学去了书童遵命
旁白——话正说着刘关张三人已经到了诸葛亮家门口
场景三
诸葛亮家门口刘关张上
张飞——大哥我来叫门（气愤敲门咚咚咚）
书童——（从猫眼里看看跟张飞头对上幻灯片配李逵的黑脸吓一跳）莫非是来讨债的（思考开门）
刘备——在下刘备特来拜访诸葛卧龙先生和她老婆
书童——主人说他不在家
刘关张——恩？？？
书童——哦不是主人主人出去游玩了可能很快回来也可能十多天不回来
刘备——那我们就在这等他
关羽——他呢么贪玩谁知道他什么时候回来大哥我们还是走吧
旁白——三人离去又过了一个月已是深秋三人第二次登门拜访可是仍然没有见着第三次已经是冬天屋外下着鹅毛大雪诸葛亮知道了刘备上门讨债的事情趁这会老婆黄氏不在赶紧命书童前去开门
场景四
诸葛亮家门口（下大雪）刘关张书童上
张飞——大哥下次要见诸葛小儿你先给我老三说一声我把他绑来见你如此劳烦哥哥甚是无礼
刘备——哎二弟三弟现在欠钱的都是大爷我们还是再去一回吧一定要诚心诚意才能打动人家（抹眼泪幻灯片放杨白劳与黄世仁咚咚咚敲门）
书童——主人今天在家（诸葛亮拿着金瓶梅从身后走过）但是正在看书请你们等一等
张飞——（等不及了）诸葛小儿快出来大哥二哥帮我照顾好我七舅老爷他上外甥女。。。。
你要是不出来我就一把火把你这房子烧了！！
关羽——葵花点穴手（幻灯片配合张飞定住眼睛睁得大大的）哎二弟呀大哥说了你几次了我们是有文化的人做人要斯文要低调懂不别一上来就舞刀弄枪的我们是来要债的又不是来要命的你把人家砍死了谁来给我们还债呀
刘备——二弟呀现在次贷危机呢么严重怎么这点道理你还不懂呢？明白了你就眨眨眼睛张飞——（眨眼）关羽葵花解穴手
张飞——哎二哥（耸耸肩）你这点穴是那里学的关羽呵呵是看了一部很流行的电视剧武林外传学的
张飞——二哥你怎么不早说要早知道你会这么一身手艺我们三兄弟不如去开个武官早就发财啦
关羽——是呵这主意不错书童主人在看书不可无礼
刘备——哎呀你们俩就别打岔了安静点
旁白——诸葛亮正在兴奋的时候老婆黄氏突然回来
场景五
诸葛亮家诸葛亮老婆刘备上
诸葛亮——刘备我终于把他给等来了哈哈哈
老婆——哦！！！相公这准时我们向我们讨债的可不能让进来
诸葛亮——老婆大人放心凭我三寸不烂之舌定能让刘备空手而归哈哈哈
刘备——卧龙先生我可找到你了诸葛亮阁下可是刘备不知找我所为何事（装）（此时刘备用枪指着诸葛亮头幻灯片放无间道）
刘备——哥们儿你欠我的500块钱什么时候还呀我们兄弟都饿了好几天了（找个乞丐的幻灯片放放）
诸葛亮——我欠你钱谁证明给我一个机会我想做个好人（无间道台词）
刘备——怎么给你机会诸葛亮主公请看(扇子指向幻灯片幻灯片放西农地图谁有激光灯啥的) 刘皇叔胸怀大志但是现在却在这里看大门我们就以这里为根据的先发展自己
的势力然后进攻曹操便可一统天下
刘备——（若有所思）看不出诸葛先生如此有见地
诸葛亮——如果我把这张地图送给主公不知可否抵债
刘备——先生身居山林却对天下大事了如指掌不知先生可否随刘备一同下山共图霸业诸葛亮（眼珠子转转）可是我已经习惯了现在的生活看来不能帮你。。。
刘备——（急）如果先生不帮我天下的百姓又要受苦请先生莫要推辞
诸葛亮——这。。。。这也不是不行。只是家家都有本难念的经，小弟近日正在为英语六级烦恼，贱内逼的紧啊，如果刘皇叔能将此事帮在下了结，在下必随刘皇叔下山，赴汤蹈火再所不辞。
刘备——（面有难色）这。。。。
张飞——（拉刘备到身边耳语到）大哥，这年头，牛奶都有假货了，我们找枪手，买答案怎么不行啊。（幻灯片武状元苏乞儿作弊呢段）
关羽——要不我们让曹操预付我们两个月的工资，先把答案给他买了说。（假答案图片）
场景六
诸葛亮家
旁白——一个月后，因为所有的钱都拿去买了答案刘关张已饿的面黄肌瘦，破衣烂衫。
书童——好消息好消息主人六级考了600分
老婆——什么！！600分！！这下终于可以毕业了太好了不负我十年寒窗苦，不负我夜夜伴君读我的美好生活就要来了房子！车子！！钞票！！！（房子、车子的图片）
场景七
诸葛亮家
老婆——老公好男儿以事业为重你去吧不要想我。。
诸葛亮——亲爱的我要远行了你要照顾好自己（转身悄悄说）别担心肯定不想你！！（出门拜倒在久侯的刘备关羽张飞脚下）主公您的大恩亮永世难忘定当鞠躬尽瘁死而后已刘备——快快请起！！
旁白——三顾茅庐的故事就此完结。结束谢谢观赏（结束时放猫和老鼠的结尾）
五人英语话剧剧本《The-Silber-Swindle》
五人英语话剧剧本-The Silber Swindle 5人 Actors: Tavern Keepe:(男主角) Young Man Keeper's Wife(女主角) Young Man Old Man Summary: Once upon a time, there was a tavern. Travelers and hunters would exchange silver ingots for copper coins and eat some food there. The tavern keeper and his wife were very greedy. They always played tricks on the scales and cheated their customers. One day they played a trick on an old man as usuaL They were so happy. They thought they made a big fortune. Th their surprise, a young man in the tavern began snickering. "It looks like you've been cheated this time." He told them that the silver ingots had lead in them. The old man was a con artist in fake silver for years. How could it be this way? A smart money changer ilke the tavern keeper was outwitted by an old man! Narrator: Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. Today I will tell you a story. Once upon a time somewhere at the foot of the Changpai mountain, there was a tavern at which travelers and hunters exchanged money to be used inside and outside the small town. Most people knew that the keeper of the tavern and his wife were very greedy. They cheated people by playing tricks on the scales and even charged additional fees for no reasons. One day~ Scene I (Customers are talking, laughing and drinking in the tavern. A traveler just comes in, finds a seat and sits down.) Hunter 1: We hunted many animals today. (laughing) Let's have some more drink.
7人搞笑小品剧本
7人搞笑神话小品剧本阎王爷招聘》 主题：运用小品的表现手法，展现当代部分干部用人观。 场景：阴司总管阎王爷创办实体，录用一批聘任制干部。经过判官杨修层层选拨、考试后，由董事长阎王爷亲自面试。 人物（7人）： 应试者服装及道具： 1、刘禅（刘后主，性软弱，皇帝装束） 2、和珅（贪官形象，手提笔记本电脑） 3、纪晓岚（书生打扮，嘴刁眼袋，手拿放大镜） 4、林冲（练武人打扮、手拿一根警棍） 5、潘金莲（风流女人形象，服装尽可能开放些） 6、主考官：董事长阎王爷 7、副主考官：判官杨修 等候面试席和面试考试同在台上； 五人在舞台左部等候；面试在舞台中右部进行。 ****** 杨修：（手拿一卷轴上）问世间钱为何物，直教人生死相许，人间地下逐利客，如此趋之若鹜……我是阴间的判官杨修，阎王爷下海办实体开办一个新公司，他就是公司的董事长。公司需要招聘一批高层管理干部，经过我组织的基本知识和专业技能考试，录用了6名。现在只等董事长亲自面试，择才录用。 （说罢，展开卷轴横挂在舞台中间屏风上，卷轴上书写：阴死阳活有限责任公司高层干部面试现场会。） 杨修：（站在副主考席后）要说我们这些当副职的，这侍奉人的差事真不容易，“聪明只能用七分，藏下三分装子孙”，否则，锋芒毕露，遭主子嫉妒，说不定哪天不丢小命也丢官。办事即要叫主子满意，又得把功劳贴在主子的脸上。好，有请六位应试人入场！ （音乐响，刘禅、和珅、纪晓岚、林冲、潘金莲5人在运动员进行曲声中依次入场，坐在等候面试席，各人神态各异。） 杨修：（扫视一下众人）已经来到五位，尚缺一位。时间已到，我们不等了。下面有请我们公司的董事长，今天的主考官阎王爷大人！ （想起迎宾曲，董事长阎王爷大摇大摆上） 阎王爷：现在人间变化太神奇了，中国的公务员都看不上奥迪了，农民出身的赵本山也开上私人客机了，唯独我们这些神穷得只剩一张皮了，趁着这时不弄点实惠恐怕将来只能“俯首甘为孺子驴”了！ （阎王爷端坐在主考席上） 杨修：主考大人已到，今天面试开始。各位先简要介绍一下自己生前事迹、本人特长，相机回答主考官大人的问题。下面有请刘禅先来。 （刘禅慢腾腾站起，踱步到会场中间，面对主考官。） 刘禅：我叫刘禅，字公嗣，小名阿斗，蜀汉后主刘备的长子，三国时期蜀汉第二任皇帝，公元223—263年在位，后蜀汉被曹魏所灭，投降曹魏，被封为安乐公。 阎王爷：在世人的心目中，你是平庸昏聩之君，在市井街头的平头百姓眼里，你的形象始终是碌碌无为的的庸主一个，被称为“扶不起的阿斗”，难道你真是个昏庸、愚钝甚至有些弱智的君主吗？ 刘禅：我就任蜀汉皇帝共计41年，相父辅佐11年，相父去世后，在贤臣的辅助下做
多人剧英语剧本 五人英语话剧剧本-除夕
英语话剧剧本 New Year’s Eve 除夕的传说，一个很优秀的剧本，讲述了除夕的传说，就是有一个怪物叫“夕"，每到腊月的最后一天会出来害人... Characters Monster who likes to eat people, espec ially on Chinese New Year’s Eve（） Old lady A whose husband and children were eaten by the monster ( ) Old lady B who comes to help old lady A to fight with the monster （）Neighbors C （） Neighbors D （） Neighbors E （）
Scene I SETTING: C、D、E and old lady A are in the village. AT RISE: C、D、E are talking to one another. C: Tomorro w is Chinese New Year’s Eve. D: Oh, my god！It’s Chinese New Year’s Eve again. E: We must run away today or we will be eaten by the terrible monster. C: Yes, I remember it comes to the village every year. D：And eat all the people. E: That’s terrible！Old lady A’s husband and children were eaten by the monster last year. C: Oh, that poor lady who lost her family. She must be very sad. D: We must tell her to run away with us. E: Yes, don’t let the tragedy happen again. CDE: (Run to the old lady A’s home) Old lady, Old lady, you must run away with us now. C: Yes, take your baggage and go with us. D: Hurry up, we have no time to waste. A: No, I want to stay here. E: Why？ A: I want to fight with the monster！It killed my family. I need to take revenge on it. C: No, No, No, it’s not safe. D: You won’t win by yourself！ E: And you will be eaten, too. CDE: You must go with us！！ A: I’m too old, and I don’t want to keep living without my family. I must kill it before I die. CDE: You are a crazy woman. Just suit yourself. (C, D, E run away)
搞笑英语话剧剧本5-7人--心碎
Heart broken Billing： XiMenchuixue YeGucheng HuaManlou King PanJinlian Narratage/soldier N：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is standing in the street. The wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches . Y与X相遇． Y: Oh , I am sorry to knock into you ! X: Ha ha , Never mind, boy. What’s your name? Y: Ha ha , I won’t change my name, no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng. Who are you? X: I am XiMenchuixue. Y:Ah??? XiMenchuixue? X: Yes, what’s wrong? Y: I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu. X: Great, you know me ! Y: But your wife is my first lover. X: What??? Y抱腿: Oh, Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go! X:No, I must kill you ! Y: I don't want to be killed. There is an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year-old son to be looked after by me! X: Noway! Because we are enemies now! You know? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me! X: 拔刀砍向Y (Y拿出一袋牛奶迎上去) X抢过牛奶: Milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that? Y: Just drink it! X喝完牛奶: Thanks, ha ha. Y: Do you still want to kill me? X: Sure! Milk is milk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very nice! I hope you won’t forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t! Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly!3-2-1-0! X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach, Oach !
大学英语话剧剧本,适合4~5个人演(不用修改,建议和ppt一起下)
The Tale of Aladdin Characters: Aladdin, Genie, Jasmine, and Sultan Scene 1 旁白: Welcome to my store. What are you in need of today? What about this (Hold up a strange item) Or this? (Holds up another item) Or look at this… (Holds the third item) Wait don’t go… I can see that you are only interested in special things. Why not co nsider this? (He pulls out the magic lamp) This… this is no ordinary lamp! It once changed a young man's life. His name was Aladdin. SCENE 2（白 when Aladdin is on the way home） Aladdin:(Notices the lamp) Hey wh at’s this? (He picks it up) W o w… it’s so dirty. (He rubs the lamp clean) Genie: (Genie appears. Aladdin is astonished.后退，倒下，惊叫，向门外逃被无形的 力量牵住) Who are you and why call me from my lamp? Aladdin: please don’t kill me，I’m Ala ……Aladdin. Ah… I am sor ry to disturb you(Genie interrupt Genie: (Bows to Aladdin) I am the genie of the lamp and I will obey you. I will do anything you ask. What is your command?
小红帽英语话剧小剧本
小学生英语话剧小剧本（小红帽） 第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum：(妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子的水果放在篮子里） Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来） Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum：（一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma. Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok! Mum：（亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说）Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood：Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy. Mum：Bye-bye. Darling.
第二场：在路上 (一阵轻快的音乐远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁) Little Red Riding Hood：Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers. Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼) Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill. Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks. Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞) Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）
7人小品剧本
7人小品剧本《招聘》 演出人员： 主考官：1（男）扮演者： 考官助理：2（女）扮演者：助理一：助理二： 主持人：1（女）扮演者： 应聘者：3（2男1女）扮演者：甲：乙：丙： 音乐、灯光总监+送花姑娘： 场景：办公室，室内，室外，中间隔一个空气的门，门外，一排长椅，门内，旁边是一把椅子，正面对是一排办公桌，办公桌前有一把椅子。 开场前准备：门内，办公桌前坐主考官及两名助理。 开场：主持上台。 主持人：各位来宾，各位观众，欢迎大家百忙之中来参加我们公司的现场招聘会，首先请允许我代表公司领导向大家表示由衷的感谢，并祝愿大家天天快乐，万事如意，虎年吉祥，谢谢！（来一个90度鞠躬）然后开始介绍招聘岗位和考题。 招聘岗位：销售部经理助理 考题： 1.拉线，由坐在门旁的助理在应聘人员进门时，将门前的一根线拉起，将应聘者拌倒， 考他的应变能力。 2.撤凳，即在应聘者走到主考官面前时，主考官示意他坐下时，由门旁的助理将椅子往 后一拉，令应聘者坐到地上，继续考查他的忍耐和应变能力。 3.捡纸，在应聘者与主考官面谈结束后，会将一张白纸交给身旁的助理，上面写着：恭喜你，你被录取了，并将白纸放到门口。主持人将白纸的大字给观众展示。如果应聘者捡了，就会被录取，如果不捡，等于自动放弃录取资格，主要考察应聘者的思想品德和素质。（不 需要趴到地上，只要踉跄一下，表意即可） 主持在介绍完规则后，开始下面的演出。在此期间，其他参演人员都要笔直的坐在各自 的位子，保持静默严肃的状态，象军人那样。 主持人（回头）：“下面招聘会正式开始，嗯，怎么？国庆六十周年阅兵还没结束吗？(笑) 有请今天的主考官给我们作开场发言。” 主考官（作放松状）：“好，感谢主持人，感谢各位到场的领导和同仁，感谢所有的工作人员，感谢。。。噢，好好，开始！我宣布**公司现场招待会...噢，不，不，是招聘会正式开始，我是本公司的销售部经理，当然考题都是我出的，如有不到之处，请大家多多指教。谢 谢！”站起来向台下鞠躬。 助理二(站起来补充发言):当然我们这个考题是有针对性的,只对销售人员使用,因为他们每天要面对的压力和挫折可能要比今天的考试更严重,所以,我们是有意为之,不要给我们扣侵犯人权的帽子,理解为上,请勿模仿，如有雷同，纯属巧合.谢谢! 主持人：好,下面有请今天前来参加现场招聘会的各位人才上场。 主持人：“首先出场的是一位美女，有请张三。” 主持人：“哎，人呢？张三，张三，张三到没到啊，没到请举手。” 主持人：“张三没到请举手，噢，没到啊，那李四，李四到没到？” 李四举手上场。
5人英语话剧剧本
5人英语话剧剧本-Yes Means No(似是而非) Teddy Lawson is going to marry Edith Merrill and he asks his father, Mr. Lawson, to finance his honeymoon. However, Teddy's father wants him to learn to say NO first because Teddy always says YES to everyone who makes a request. They make a deal that Mr. Lawson will give Teddy one hundred dollars for every time Teddy says NO in half an hour, but if Teddy says YES just once, Teddy forfeits every NO-Mr. Lawson's secretary, Miss Collins, will make the strict account of every NO. In order to have a nice honeymoon, Teddy tries hard to carry out his father's orders and answer NO as many as possible to everything asked, even though he is running the risks of breaking his father's deal with T. J. Morgan and losing his own sweet heart,Edith Merrill... TEDDY: (Coming to his father's desk L.) Dad, there's something I want to tell you. LAWSON: Oh, is that so! What is it? TEDDY: Well, Dad, I've just proposed to Edith Merrill and she's accepted me. LAWSON: Going to get married, eh? When do you intend doing this? TEDDY: Right away. That's why I wanted to see you, and of course I know you'll finance the honeymoon. LAWSON: Oh... I will, will I? (Pounds desk, rises and comes to Teddy C.) I'll tell you that I'm ashamed of you. You haven't any backbone... you can't say NO! I left you in charge of my business last week just to see how you'd conduct it. And you did great. Ha!... If I'd stayed away another week, you'd have ruined me (Strolls up C.) TEDDY: I did the best I could! LAWSON: Then you'd make a fine business man. (Coming down C.)The most essential thing in a business man's life is to be able to say "NO." At all times NO. Especially in a credit business like mine. But you said YES to everyone who asked for extra time. (Takes a few steps L.) TEDDY: But they always cried to me and I just couldn't say "no." LAWSON: Well, you'll learn to say "no" before I finance any honeymoon. (Lawson is below desk L. Phone rings, Lawson turns to his desk, grabs phone quickly and sits down.)Lawson talking...! (Listens a second.) NO!!!I... said...NO. (Listens again.)Then I'll foreclose. That's final.. NO! (Lawson hangs up receiver. Turns to Teddy.)That's how I make my money.. being able to say NO.. NO.. NO. (Pounds desk with each "No!" Rises and comes to Teddy C.) And that's the way I want my son to be before he shoulders the responsibility of marriage. TEDDY: Well, give me another chance, Dad... and I'll try to make good. LAWSON: (He sneers the last word and takes a stroH up C.) Do you mean it? TEDDY: You betl do LAWSON: (Coming down L of Teddy.) TEDDY: All right... I'll give you another chance. You want money for a honeymoon?.. .Very well! You take charge of this office while I go to lunch and I'll give you one hundred dollars for every time you say NO. LAWSON: One hundred dollars? TEDDY: Right! Do you think you can do it?
《摆摊-卖碟》(7人)年会晚会搞笑小品剧本台词
《摆摊—卖碟》--（7人） 参加演出：卖碟甲、顾客A（男）、顾客B, 顾客C（女），顾客D，朋友E，警察F （如果是日企第一段估计要删减咯） 甲：瞧一瞧看一看真正的甩货真正的清仓随便挑随便选全场都2块买啥都2块 ,2块钱你买不了吃亏 2块钱你买不了上当 2块钱不算贵不用回去开个会 2块钱不白花一年四季都用它——碟！什么颜色的都有哦！（坏笑） 甲：哎，同志，同志！请留步。 A：你认错人了，我不是“同志”！ 甲：啊，“男同志”！ A：你才是“男同志”呢！实话告诉你，我不是同性恋。你找“同性恋”，请到北京三里屯！ 甲：呵呵，您误会啦！ A：行啦！别墨迹了。有事快点说，我这还赶着去**公司社团开会呢讨论大事呢，没功夫跟你闲扯蛋！ 甲：大事？啥大事啊？ A：小日本抢我钓鱼岛，怎么的也要说说理吧 甲：老兄，灭他何必开会讨论，大费周折，我给你推荐，在家看碟就行，保管大快人心，来来来。。。。
A：你？光看碟？别开玩笑了（不削的表情） 甲：瞧这个（拿张碟），《柯南》，一集就死一个日本人。（又拿另一个）看《死亡笔记》，一集死一打日本人。（又指另一个）《海贼王》，一死死一船日本人。还有这个《火影》，一集死一村日本人。这个这个（拿着碟）《奥特曼》，一集死一城日本人。最火的《2012》，30分钟日本岛就没了。。。过瘾不过瘾？不动刀不动枪，日本鬼子死光光（得意）A：去，哥研究的是正事，别瞎搅和，拿10块钱来 甲：干嘛？打劫？ A：买日本岛 甲：我听说不是9块就行吗？ A：那一块钱我帮你顺便捐灾区 甲：啊？（惊讶） A：你去肯德基吃东西都让你捐一块呢，这就顺便一起了，我帮你代劳了 甲：伦家不去肯德基的，肯德基不能吃，都是速成鸡，吃不得的呢（撒娇） 再说，现在禽流感来，保命要紧，小心H7N9。 A：少废话，给钱 甲：这倒没赚钱呢，先捐了10块出去（顺手从口袋里拿出10块钱给A，有点不情愿，念念叨叨） A：（互动全场）来来大家一起捐点来。。捐钱（走下台） 甲：哥，大哥，别忘了帮我登个记啊（冲A离开的方向喊）
最新英语五人话剧剧本
英语五人话剧剧本 < Beauty and the Beast（美女与野兽）>修改版 Play characters： 旁白（旁白）：A Beauty father（美女的父亲）：B Beauty sister（美女的姐妹）：C Beauty（美女）：D Beast （野兽）：E ----------------------------- 剧本： ------------------------------ 旁白：Hello, everybody. I am aside. (每个人依次介绍自己的角色：I am ……) 旁白: Today I will tell you an incredible story~ 旁白：Action 1 (出场人物：美女的父亲、美女的姐姐、美女) 旁白：One day,beauty’s fatherlearned that all his ships had been lost i n a storm. He was penniless and would have to move to a tiny cottage on the edge of the woods. 美女父亲(依依不舍的)：I’m sorry,but all my ships had been lost in a st orm, we have to move to a tiny cottage on the edge of the woods.My dear daughters,I must go to find another job. 美女:Everything will be alright,daddy.
7人公司年会搞笑小品剧本《四大才子》剧本
7人公司年会搞笑小品剧本《四大才子》 剧本 --更多年会策划请百度欧凯传媒 2017年公司年会小品剧本 主题：音乐小品《四大才子》 策划：销售部 音乐：销售部 演员：唐伯虎(贵生)、祝枝山(小班长)、文征明(彥峰)、周文斌(付博)、秋香(庞军)、华夫人(立伟)、如花(小白) 秋香：黑丝袜，大裤衩， 如花：大黑痣，大胸，大胡子，馒头 道具：四把扇子，假发、梳妆镜、三条手绢(秋、华、如自备) 灯光聚焦李伟、皮皮，吉他弹唱《蝴蝶花》;（元旦新年搞笑小品剧本《天愚超级选秀》） 唱完第一段(别叹息别叹息，别对我说没有不老的红颜)停 灯光发散全场 华夫人、秋香、如花娇涩状出场，左顾右盼，看热闹状，(左右左整齐扭走)，秋香托胸动作。
秋：华夫人，您瞧，今天在场有这么多帅哥美女，多热闹啊! 华：秋香，你要Hold住哦! 秋香摸腿，故意露出网袜，四处张望，作羞涩状 秋：您不是要我成hold住姐嘛! (表情萌) 华：如花，这么多衰锅在，别再抠你的鼻屎了! 如花继续抠鼻屎，很不情愿的慢慢放下手来，表情猥琐。 如花：(吮手)嗯～～～(嗲音) 文章出自 音乐起(四大老子出场音乐) 四大才子台步浪荡出场，秀香肩，各摆一造型 周：HI，everybody,还记得我吗，我是你们最最亲爱的----小斌斌。(拿出镜子、小梳子梳头)本人文韬武略，上知天文，下知地理，刚从我的粉丝国日本回来，嗬，到日本，刚下飞机，我就看苍姐在机场拉了个特大的横幅写道：欢迎我们的小斌斌来日!我的粉丝们太热情了!哦～～(嗲，小沈阳腔调) 祝(发套，北京腔)：你倒是挺美，我元旦跑去埃及度假，想看看狮身人为什么这么的面像，结果碰上了民众暴力冲突，把我那经典的发型轰成了这个模样(抚摸头发)。 文：(河南腔)，祝兄，谁让你非跑国外呢?我在国内喝着蒙牛，吃着地沟油，看着郭美美和甘露露娘俩，坐高铁出门，路边扶扶老太
多人剧英语剧本 4-5人英语话剧剧本-英汉双语
第一幕： Bill and Marry are all students, they have fallen in love with each other for nearly 2 months. The class is over, Bill promised to meet Marry after class. 女生跑出教学楼，男生迎了上去。 男：你下课了？我等了你一个小时。 B：Darling, the class is so long, I have waited for you for nearly one hour. 女：对不起，那个数学老师拖堂了四十分钟。 G：Sorry, Bill, the mathematics teacher has runned overtime for nearly 40 minutes. 男：没事的。（变出一个橘子来，女生表示很开心）看，多漂亮的橘子。 B：That’s all right. Haha, look, how beautiful a Orange it is. 女：你对我真好。 （男剥了橘子，要喂给女生吃，女生不吃。） G：You are so nice to me. 女：我们分着吃吧。 G：Let us eat it together , ok? 男：我吃过了。(喂给女生吃了。) B：Baby, I have ate it, This Orange is special for you. 女：真好吃，我们一起去图书馆看书吧。 G：It tastes so delicious. Let’s go to the library and read books. 男：好的，走吧。 B：Ok, let’s go. 第二幕： After one year, the two students graduate from school, they work at different corporation. They rent a small house far away from their work places, for the rent cost is mach small. 两个人都毕业了，分别在两家公司上班。在租住的小出租屋里。
应聘》人搞笑小品剧本小品剧本相声剧本 节目表演
《应聘》-5人搞笑小品剧本（爆笑) 人物：2个考官，3个应聘者 （某公司招聘推销主管） 应聘者：龙民：一个农业养殖户，泰有才：一个没有社会背景的高才生，贞有权：一个官家子弟。 泰有才（背这手，度着步子，抬着头思索状）：岁月不留人，时间飞逝过，如今的市场，我也来竞争 贞有权（西装革履，大步走上）：根据本人的调查，在这个竞争日益激烈的市场，要求一份好的工作的确很难，同志们呐，为了生存我也来此应聘了。 第一个考官说：你们都是来应聘的，我们公司要的是推销方面的人才，要么有学历，要么有经验你们都是有学历的人。。 （突然从门外闯近来一个破烂衣服的人，跑得太急差点摔倒） 闯近来的农民边挠头边憨厚的说：大姐，对不起，俺迟到了 （副考官怒火直冒）：谁是你大姐`本姑娘才一支花的年龄！！诶怎么会突然冒出这么个人出`！ #策吧网 （龙民惊讶的看着考官说）：大姐俺村没一支一支的花只有一大把一大把的`！（做夸张的，用抱的姿势来形容花多） （副考官捏紧拳头强忍怒火的样子说）：好了。现在开始自我介绍，把你们的姓名，住址，年龄，民族，生日，性别，婚姻状况，学历。。。。报上来
（3个应聘者作惊讶状）（主考官笑笑说）：不用这么多，把你们的名字和学历经验报上来就行 贞有权：这才差不多，否则我还以为到派出所了`！ 泰有才：我叫泰有才，泰国的泰，本人硕士毕业，经过学校文化的熏陶，经过社会的磨砺，经过人生的考验，我来到了贵公司应聘。我将把我的知识为公司推销，用我的文化来推销，把世界观，价值观，荣辱观带到公司的整体利益中来。。。。 副考官：停停停，罗嗦，下一个！（泰有才扶了扶眼镜，把头一昂退了退） 贞有权：我叫贞有权，贞德的贞。我毕业于那个什么H大，由于社会的竞争，恩，是吧，我来到了这个公司，然后呢，我想竟聘这个职位，我的话说完了，谢谢各位 copyright 策吧网 （中间考官动作自己加） 龙民：俺叫龙民，一条龙的龙（全场暴笑）俺别的没有，就是经验丰富，具体有啥经验请听下回分解。 贞有权：到底是龙民，名字都取得这么农民 主考官:好了好了好了，开始提问 副考官：请问如果有一个漂亮的姑娘出现在你面前你要怎么推销自己让她接受你 龙民：考官，能不能不要俺已经有媳妇了，俺怕俺媳妇不让俺睡床。 （愤怒）副考官：假设，假设懂吗`！！
5人英语话剧剧本――Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)
5人英语话剧剧本——Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)这个短剧讲的是： 搞笑的匪徒,搞笑的绑架案，不错的剧本。 人物 Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen Eliza Lin: Daughter Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓) Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SCENE I A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ring. And her daughter is inthe school now. Mom: Hello~ Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to saveyour kid, prepare the ransom.
Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ring again…Mom: Hello~ Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now? Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is itfun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you. Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on t he phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~)Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap torobmeofmymoney!Ifyoucallagain,Iwillcallthecop.Doyouunderstand?(Hanguptheph one more angrier.) But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to theelementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there… Mom: Eliza~ Eliza: Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something onthe way home.
【英文剧本】7人搞笑英语版话剧剧本-三顾茅庐
Three visits to the cottage————By FRIENDS Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐）is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser1. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity2, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted3 his whole life to the cause and died in harness. Our script is revised from this story and writed by my classmates of group FRIENDS. In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own Swordsman（中文名武林外传）,The Flirting4 Scholar（中文名唐伯虎点秋香）were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide. Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking5 efforts of our group. So we present our