英语小笑话很短的精选-英语小笑话 非常短

英语小笑话很短的精选-英语小笑话 非常短
英语小笑话很短的精选-英语小笑话 非常短

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英语小笑话很短的精选|英语小笑话非

常短

网络笑话在一定程度上反映了社会不同阶层间的意识形态和权力属性。下面是小编带来的很短的英语小笑话,欢迎阅读!

很短的英语小笑话篇一

英语口语居然被人翻译成四川话......

1.Areyoukiddingme?你豁老子哦?

2.Dude.哥佬倌

3.Longtimenosee.死哪儿切了喃?那么久没qio到你了。

4.what?啥子喃?

5.Don"tworry。虚啥子啊虚。

6.whatdoyouwant?你要爪子嘛?

7.Icannotholdnolonger.老子遭不住了。

8.stupid.瓜娃子。

9.she"smygirlfriend;wife.她是我老妞儿。

10.youarewelcome.莫来头;说这些。

11.That"sawesome.简直巴适的板。

12.Ihavenoidea.晓求不得。

13.Alittle.就那么滴滴儿。

14.Iamsure.我呸死了。打包票。

15.whathappened?啥子情况啥子情况?

16.Itdoesn"tmakesense.球名堂莫得。

17.It"snoneofyourbusiness.管你娃球事啊?

18.whatahell?浪么子搞起在勒。

19.Areyousure.儿豁??

20.Areuoutofurmind?你吃醉了所?

21.rockpaperscissors.石千儿。

22.Idontcare.管我屁事啊。

23.Kickyourass.给你娃儿两脚头哦。

24.Darkblack。黢嘛黑。

25.seeyou.空了吹。

26.Let"sgo.撤飘。

27.shutup.闹啥子。

28.Asshole.斯娃子

29.youwannapieceofme.老子给你打燃火。

30.enjoy!敞欢。

31.Igotnomoney.老子分儿都不分儿了

很短的英语小笑话篇二

绳子还是公牛?ropeorox?

Themanintheprisonaskedanewcomerwhyhewassentthere.Th enewcomeranswered:"Iamoutofluck,Ithink.AfewdaysagoI waswalkinginthestreetwhenIsawapieceofdirtyrope.Itho ughtnobodywanteditandsoIpickeditupandtookithome."

"butitisnotagainstthelawtopickupapieceofropeandtake home!"

"ItoldyouIhadbadluck,didn'tI?"themansighed,"Thetrou bleisthatIdidn'tnoticetherewasanoxattheotherendofth atrope."

在监狱里,一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说:“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候,看到一根脏绳子,以为没人要了,便捡起来带了回家。”

“但是,捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气,“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”

很短的英语小笑话篇三

你爸爸帮你了

吗?Didyourdadhelpyou?oneday,Tim'smathematicsteacher lookedathishomeworkandsawthathehadgotallhissumsrigh t.Theteacherwasverypleased-andrathersurprised.hecal ledTimtohisdeskandsaidtohim,"yougotallyourhomeworkr ightthistime,Tim.whathappened?Didyourfatherhelpyou? "

"No,sir.hewastoobusylastnight,soIhadtodoitallmyself ,"saidTim.

一天,蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业,发现他全做对了。老师很高兴,同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说:“蒂姆,你这次的作业全都做对了,怎么回事?你爸爸帮你做了吗?”

“不,先生,我爸爸昨天很忙,我不得不全由自己做了。”

很短的英语小笑话篇四

谨遵医嘱Doctor'sorders

brown:I'msorrytoseeyousounwell.haveyouseenthedoctor?

jack:yes.I'mhavingthreebathsaday.

brown:whatfor?

jack:Don'tknow,doctor'sorders.hegavemesomemedicinea ndtoldmetofollowthedirectionsonthebottle,whichread:

"onetablespoonfultobetakenthreetimesadayinwater."

布朗:看到你身体这样不好真让人难过。你去看医生了吗?

杰克:看过了,我现在一天洗三次澡。

布朗:为什么?杰克:我也不知道,这是医生的嘱咐。他给了我一些药并告诉我要按照药瓶上的说明去做。说明上面写着“一天三次在水中服一汤匙。”

很短的英语小笑话篇五

heartTransplant心脏移植Amanneedingahearttransplantistoldbyhisdoctorthatthe

onlyheartavailableisthatofasheep.

有一名需要心脏移植的男子被他的医生告知,唯一可用的心脏就是一只羊的心脏。

Themanfinallyagreesandthedoctortransplantsthesheeph eartintotheman.

这名男子最后同意了,医生就将羊鹃心脏移植到这名男子身上。

Afewdaysaftertheoperation,themancomesinforacheckup.

就在手术后几天,这名男子前来接受身体检查。

Thedoctoraskshim"howareyoufeeling?"

医生问他:“你现在感觉怎么样呀?”Themanreplies"Notb-A-A-A-A-D!"

这名男子回答说:“还不错、错、错、错、错。”看了“很短的英语小笑话”的人还看了:

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初一英语小笑话

Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired." 中文: 我的同事有好几小时不见人了。我们疯了地到处找他。最后老板发现,他正在睡大觉。没叫醒他,老板悄无声息地在我的同事的胸前放了个纸条。“睡觉时”,条上写着,“你是我的员工,醒来你就不是了 1)TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。" A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him,” Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后,妈妈问他,“你买的是好用的火柴吗?” “是的,妈妈。”汤米回答,“我把它们都试过了。” )Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 开车 父亲:哎呀,我刚才违规右转弯了。 苏西:没事,爸,跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。 )Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.

少儿英语幽默爆笑小笑话

少儿英语幽默爆笑小笑话 【导语】英语笑话也是有很多英语小知识可以学习的,以下是由小编整理的少儿英语幽默爆笑小笑话,有时间来一下看看吧! 【篇一】少儿英语幽默爆笑小笑话 Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends. Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now! 弗兰克叔叔七十八岁了,富有而健康。他是个终生单身汉。他曾追求过很多女孩,但“从不过热----见好就收”。一天他突发奇想,决定四处走走,去看看他那些接近一打的旧时女友。 他回来即叹道:“嘘!谢天谢地幸亏我没娶那些女人中的任何一个。如今她们都成寡妇了!” 【篇二】少儿英语幽默爆笑小笑话

A shoplifter https://www.360docs.net/doc/5f8086379.html, |was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend." 一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?”经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道:“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点,你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。” 【篇三】少儿英语幽默爆笑小笑话 The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl. 鱼网 你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。 把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。小女孩回答道。

英语小笑话(带翻译)).

1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 2,Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩:我可以给你买杯饮料吗? 女孩:你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人:哦, 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。” 4. 反正我太太明天会来换的 My Wife Will Exchange Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasper ated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。

英语短笑话

I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " .鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。” Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译

短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛)them! =================================================================== 斯丹:我赢了92 条金鱼。 弗雷德:你想在哪儿养它们? 斯丹:浴室。 弗雷德:但是你想洗澡时怎么办? 斯丹:蒙住它们的眼睛! ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子:“为什么?” 约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师:你哪里不舒服? 病人:我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的? 病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候,她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后,一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前,说道:“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢?”

最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

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见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:"Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话(四) 话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「IAm后羿!」 b神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「IAm丘比特!」 轮到c了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」 英语笑话(五) 某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:Iamsorry.老外应道:Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道:Iamsorrythree. 老外不解,问:whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈,道:Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话(六) 一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,ToKoTA!madeinJapan!Itisveryfast!”又有一辆经过,他又说:“oh,nIssAn!madeinJapan!Itisveryfast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,honDA!madeinJapan!Itisveryfast!”

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译

英语幽默笑话故事带翻译 篇一:英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生,我的当事人被指控偷窃,这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约,几乎不认路。而且,他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告,问道:"你会说多少英文?" 被告抬起头,说:"把你的钱包给我!" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果,为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字,而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说,女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍,因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问:"什么?" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆,你弟弟怎么了?" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿,妈妈," 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么?" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时,他也哭了。"

最新整理最搞笑的英语小笑话十则

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牙科医生:是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了 搞笑的英语小笑话2:I W a s n t A s l e e p W h e n a g r o u p o f w o m e n g o t o n t h e c a r,e v e r y s e a t w a s a l r e a d y o c c u p i e d.T h e c o n d u c t o r n o t i c e d a m a n w h o s e e m e d t o b e a s l e e p, a n d f e a r i n g h e m i g h t m i s s h i s s t o p, h e n u d g e d h i m a n d s a i d:W a k e u p,s i r! I w a s n t a s l e e p,t h e m a n a n s w e r e d. N o t a s l e e p?B u t y o u h a d y o u r e y e s c l o s e d. I k n o w. I j u s t h a t e t o l o o k a t l a d i e s s t a n d i n g u p b e s i d e m e i n a c r o w d e d c a r. 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:先生,醒醒! 我没有睡着。那个男人回答。 没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀? 我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。

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Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛,却看不见? A needle. 针。

5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子:你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子:那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

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英语幽默小笑话全套整合

英语幽默小笑话大全 1.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"

2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" Little Johnny then stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" 一个老师在对学生们讲心理学,“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。 小约翰尼站了起来。

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