【英语学习资料】老友记字幕Word版第一季第二集

你们男生不懂的是

What you guys don't understand is,

接吻对女生的重要性

for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.

是嘛

Yeah, right!...

当真吗

Y'serious?

当然

Oh, yeah!

初吻可以让人明白一切

Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.

没错

Absolutely.

对我们而言

Yeah, I think for us,

接吻就像是暖场序幕

kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know?

{\an3\fs16\bord0\fn微软雅黑\fad(0,0)\b0\pos(374,247)}摇滚乐队就像平克·弗洛伊德出场前

I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through

你得耐着性子先看完暖场搞笑秀

before Pink Floyd comes out.

对而且我们并非

Yeah, and-and it's not that

讨厌搞笑表演而是因为

we don't like the comedian, it's that-that...

只是我们买票又不是为了看搞笑秀

that's not why we bought the ticket.

问题在于演唱会结束后

The problem is, though, after the concert's over,

不论表演有多精采

no matter how great the show was,

你们女生总还想再重温暖场搞笑秀

you girls are always looking for the comedian again, you know? 我们在车中奋力杀出车阵

I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic...basically

只是拼命让自己别睡着

just trying to stay awake.

是哦给你个建议让搞笑秀返场

Yeah, well, word of advice:Bring back the comedian.

否则下次你们只能坐在家里

Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself

独自一人听唱片

sitting at home, listening to that album alone.

我们现在还在谈论性吗

...Are we still talking about sex?

史前历史博物馆

不挺好的只是

No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- Mm-

她看起来是不是有点生气啊

doesn't she seem a little angry?

那是因为她有问题了

Well, she has issues.

真的吗

Does she?

她男人在外头拿着大棒敲昏别的女人

He's out banging other women over the head with a club, 而她却得在家

while she sits at home trying to

努力清除地毯上乳齿象的臭味

get the mastodon smell out of the carpet!

玛莎他们是原始人

Marsha, these are cave people.

明白吗他们关心的问题应该是

Okay? They have issues like

"嘿冰川时代离我们越来越近了"

'Gee, that glacier's getting kind of close.'

-懂吗 -谈到问题那不是你前妻吗

- See? - Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife?

我不是

Me? No.

正是卡罗尔你好

Yes, it is. Carol! Hi!

好吧是的

Okay.Yes.Yes,it is.

{\an8\bord1\fs18\b1}史前生命展即将开幕

咱们到冰河世纪那边见好吗

How about I'll catch up with you in the Ice Age? 你的气色好极了我

You look great. I, uh...

虽然我很不喜欢

I hate that.

抱歉谢了你看起来也不错

Sorry. thanks.You look good too.

在这儿任何直立的人

Ah, well, in here, anyone who...stands erect... 最近怎么样还是

So what's new? Still, uh...

女同性恋

A lesbian?

世事难料嘛那么

Well...you never know. How's, um...

家庭生活如何

how's the family?

玛蒂的疑心病还是很重还有

Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uh-

卡罗尔你来找我有什么事

Why- why are you here, Carol?

我怀孕了

I'm pregnant.

怀孕

Pregnant?!

她似乎不急着离开

she didn't leave in such a hurry after all

我猜这是《三人行》里

Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where 他们有误会的那集

there's some kind of misunderstanding.

那我果真看过这一集

...Then I've already seen this one!

喝完没

Are you through with that?

真不好意思我咽得太慢了

Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.

这是谁的小纸团

Whose little ball of paper is this?!

应该是我的我写给自己一张便条

Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, 后来觉得不需要于是将它揉成纸团

and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and...

于是我现在不想活了

...now I wish I was dead.

那个枕头她已经拍过了

She's already fluffed that pillow...

莫妮卡你已经拍过了枕头了算了

Monica, you know,you've already fluffed that--but, it's fine! 抱歉各位

Look , I'm sorry, guys,

我只是不想给他们任何

I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition

借题发挥的机会

than they already have.

没错众所周知父母对孩子的枕头

Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be

要求有多苛刻

about the flatness of a child's pillow.

莫妮卡

Monica? Hi!

莫妮卡你吓到我了

Um, Monica, you're scaring me.

我是说你现在一副慌张失措的样子

I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly.

而且显得不是很好

And not-not in a good way.

对啊放轻松

Yeah, calm down.

每次他们来时从没见

You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and

罗斯露出慌张的样子

twirly every time they come.

因为在我爸妈心目中罗斯不可能犯错

That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. 他是个王子

Y'see, he's the Prince.

显然他们在我出生前有个大型仪式

Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.

什么

What?

丑裸男搞了个健腿器

Ugly Naked Guy got a thigh-master!

有人见我订婚戒指了吗

Has anybody seen my engagement ring?

有挺漂亮的

Yeah, it's beautiful.

天哪天哪天哪天哪

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God.

嘿不要动它们

No, look, don't touch that!

还嫌我现在不够恐慌害怕吗

Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough,

明天就得还他戒指了

having to give it back to him...

巴瑞记得我不我是那个身穿婚纱

'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil

当着你全家人的面让你颜面无存的女孩

who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' 天啊如今我要去把戒指还给他

Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring,

结果戒指没了这是要逼死我啊

without the ring, which makes it so much harder...

别急瑞秋我们会找到的对不

Easy Rach, we'll find it. Won't we!

是呀没错

Oh! Yeah!

最后一次戴是在什么时候

Alright, when do you have it on last?

呆子大概是在丢失之前咯

Doy! Probably right before she lost it!

这年头说"呆子"的人还真不多

You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days...

我今天早上还戴着呢

I know I had it this morning,

我记得当时我正在厨房

and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with... 和黛娜一起吗

...Dinah?

别生气

Ohhhhh, don't be mad...

你不是吧

You didn't?

哦对不起

Oh, I am sorry...

我就让你做了这么一件事情

I gave you one job!

不过这面条煮得还真直

Oh, but look how straight those noodles are!

莫妮卡你明白的

Now, Monica, you know that's not

在千层面中找订婚戒指不是这个样子找的

how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne... 我办不到

I just...can't do it.

伙计们动手吧

Boys? We're going in.

听语气不怎么开心啊

Wow. That is not a happy hi.

卡罗尔怀孕了

Carol's pregnant.

我找到了

Ooh! I found it!

什么啥怎么什么

W-w-wh-...wha-...w-w-w-...

保持这个状态两小时

Yeah. Do that for another two hours,

你就会变成我现在这样了

you might be where I am right about now.

如此一来就不用操心枕头的事了对吧

Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon? 那现在你现在要怎么办

Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?

卡罗尔说她和苏珊想让我也参与进来

Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved,

但是我对此感觉很不自在我不想掺和

but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved... 一切由我做决定

basically it's totally up to me.

她人好好我真想念她

She is so great! I miss her.

她所谓的"参与"是什么意思

What does she mean by 'involved'?

我觉得最大部分的工作你已经完成了

I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done. 总之她们要我明天一起去

Anyway, they want me to go down to this-

做超声波检查

sonogram thing with them tomorrow.

你打算怎么做

So what are you gonna do?

我也不知道

I have no idea.

不管我怎么做我都要当爸爸了

No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father. 面已经被搅乱了不是吗

...Well, this is still ruined, right?

玛莎·卢德文的女儿会打电话给你

Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you.

怎么会有咖哩味

Mmm! What's that curry taste?

那就是咖喱

Curry.

我觉得挺很好吃真的

I- I think they're great! I, I really do.

你还记得卢德文一家人吗

Do you remember the Ludwins?

他家的大女儿挺喜欢你对不

The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?

他们家的女儿都喜欢他

They all had a thing for him.

别这样妈

Aw, Mom...

抱歉她为何要打电话给我

I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?

她刚毕业想找份烹饪的工作

Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, 或是做饭啥的我也不清楚

or food, or...I don't know.

总之我告诉她你开了一家餐馆

Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-

不妈我没开餐馆

No Mom, I don't have a restaurant,

我是在餐厅工作

I work in a restaurant.

他们不需要知道这个

Well, they don't have to know that...

罗斯能过来帮我做意大利面吗

Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?

-好 -我们要吃意大利面呀

- Yeah. - Oh, we're having spaghetti!

太简单了

That's...easy.

我知道这样要求过于自私

I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish,

你能提一下孩子和女同性恋的事吗

but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? 因为那样好歹能让我稍稍喘口气

Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.

瑞秋最近闯了那么大的祸

What that Rachel did to her life...

我们在俱乐部遇见她父母

We ran into her parents at the club,

他们很不开心

they were not playing very well.

我不会告诉你他们为婚礼耗费了多少钱

I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding...

但是四万块可是不少钱呢

but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!

至少她曾拥有过把男人丢在教堂圣坛的机会

Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar...

这话算什么意思

What's that supposed to mean?

没什么表达一下亲情

Nothing! It's an expression.

不才不是呢

No, it's not.

别听你妈的

Don't listen to your mother.

你独立自主而且一直都这么独

You're independent, and you always have been!

就连你小时候也一样

Even when you were a kid...

那时你胖嘟嘟一个朋友也没有

and you were chubby, and you had no friends,

你还是活得好好的

you were just fine!

你会独自待在自己房间里看书玩拼图

And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...

而像罗斯这种人却注定要做人中之龙的

Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, 在博物馆工作发表论文

with his museum, and his papers getting published.

其他人则安逸于现状

Other people are satisfied with staying where they are-

告诉你这些人绝不会得癌症哦

I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.

我曾读过一些女性也试图想拥有一切

...And I read about these women trying to have it all,

幸好咱家的小莫妮卡完全没有这种烦恼

and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem. 罗斯你最近怎么样

So, Ross, what's going on with you?

有啥情况吗

Any stories?

没有新闻八卦之类能和爸妈分享一下吗

No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?

好吧好吧

Okay! Okay.

听着我明白

Look, I, uh- I realise

你们一直想知道

you guys have been wondering

我和卡罗尔之间倒底出了什么事

what exactly happened between Carol and me, and,

事情是这样的

so, well, here's the deal.

卡罗尔是同性恋

Carol's a lesbian.

她现在和一个叫苏珊的女人住在一起

She's living with a woman named Susan.

她还怀了我的孩子

She's pregnant with my child,

并打算和苏珊共同抚养

and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.

这些你居然全都知道

And you knew about this?!

你的爸妈真的很不怎么样啊

Your folks are really that bad, huh?

你要知道他们特别专业

Well, y'know, these people are pros.

他们运筹帷幄

They know what they're doing,

慢慢部署最后总能达到目的

they take their time, they get the job done.

常言道父母是无法交换的

Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... 如果可以我要你的父母

boy, if you could--I'd want yours.

我去尿尿

Must pee.

如果你是双胞胎情况会更惨

Y'know, it's even worse when you're twins.

-你是双胞胎 -对我们不往来

- You're twins? - Yeah. We don't speak.

她是那种精力充沛事业心强的人

She's like this high-powered, driven career type. 她从事什么工作

What does she do?

服务生

She's a waitress.

好了各位我得打扫了

All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. 钱德勒你是独生子对吧

Chandler, you're an only child, right?

-你就没这些困扰 -没有

- You don't have any of this. - Well, no,

不过我有个想像中的朋友

although I did have an imaginary friend,

而我爸妈比较喜欢他

who...my parents actually preferred.

帮我关灯

The lights, please...

我刚在里面多久了

...How long was I in there?

我在做打扫

I'm just cleaning up.

那么你你需要帮忙吗

Do you...uh...do you need any help?

好呀谢了

Uh...okay, sure! Thanks!

总之

Anyway...um...

明天要见巴瑞紧张吗

So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?

有一点

Oh...a little...

很紧张

A lot.

有什么建议吗

So, got any advice?

作为一个刚刚被甩的人

Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped?

你应该避免用"甩"这个字眼

Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word'dumped'.

因为现在他很有可能正痛不欲生

Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, 而你也不该显得如此光艳照人

so you should try not to look too terrific,

我知道这一点很难做到

I know it'll be hard.

这样吧我替你去一趟

Or, y'know, uh, hey! I'll go down there,

把巴瑞的戒指还给他

and I'll give Barry back his ring,

你陪卡罗尔和苏珊去做产科检查

and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...

你明天得见卡罗尔

Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow...

为什么会变得这么复杂啊

When did it get so complicated?

问倒我了

Got me.

-还记得我们在高中时吗 -记得

- Remember when we were in high school together? - Yeah. 那时我们难道不都认为自己会遇见一个人

I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, 坠入爱河然后厮守终生吗

fall in love- and that'd be it?

-罗斯 -对没错

- Ross? - Yes, yes!

没想到自己会沦落到这个地步

Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here...

我也是

Me either...

抱歉我迟到了工作太忙

Sorry I'm late, I was stuck at work.

忙着处理巨型恐龙什么的

There was this big dinosaur...thing...anyway. 罗斯记得苏珊吗

Ross, you remember Susan.

我怎能忘得了

How could I forget?

罗斯

Ross.

你好苏珊她的手好有力

Hello, Susan. Good shake. Good shake.

那么我们在等

So, uh, we're just waiting for...?

欧伯曼大夫

Dr. Oberman.

-欧伯曼大夫他 -是女的

- ...Dr. Oberman. Okay. And is he - She.

女的当然了那么她

She, of course, she- uh-

了解我们的特殊状况吧

familiar with our...special situation?

了解而且她非常支持

Yes, and she's very supportive.

好太好了

Okay, that's great.

不我不用