初中英语演讲幽默故事
Big Head
“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.”
大脑袋
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”
“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the
children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
An Alarm Clock
A young man went to a mountain village for his holiday. One night he stayed at a small hotel near a train station.
Before going to bed, he went to th e owner of the hotel and said to the old man, “ Excuse me, sir. Will you please wake me up at a quarter to five? I'm going to take the five o'clock train tomorrow morning. ”
“ Oh, sorry, ” the owner said, “ I am afraid I can't. I don't get up that early. ”
The young man started to go back to his room when he stopped and asked, “ Do you have an alarm clock? That would help me. ”
“ Yes, here it is, young man. ”
The young man took the clock happily and thanked the old man. But when he looked at it carefully, there appeared to be something wrong with it.
“ Does it ring on time? ” he asked the old man.
“ Sure! Just shake it when it's time to get up, and it'll ring. ”
一只闹钟
一个年轻人到一个山村去度假。那天夜里，他住宿在火车站附近的一个旅馆里。
上床睡之前，他对旅馆老板——一个老头儿说：“对不起，先生，请问您能在五点差一刻叫醒我吗？我明天早晨要乘五点的火车。”
“哦，很抱歉”，旅馆老板说，“恐怕不行，我不可能起那么早。”
年轻人正想回到房间去，又停住了问：“那你有闹钟吗？或许它能帮助我。”
“我有，给你，年轻人。”
年轻人很高兴地拿了闹钟，谢了老头儿。但当他仔细查看了闹钟后，发现似乎有毛病。“它能准时闹吗？”他问老头儿。
“那当然！时间一到，你摇一摇，他就会响的。”
One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
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of the will. Its the freshness of the deep spring of life. A poet said To see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour. Several days ago, I had a chance to listen to a lecture. I learnt a lot there. Id like to share it with all of you. Lets show our right palms. We can see three lines that show how our love.career and life is. I have a short line of life. What about yours? I wondered whether we could see our future in this way. Well, lets make a fist. Where is our future? Where is our love, career, and life? Tell me.Yeah, it is in our hands. It is held in ourselves. We all want the future to be better than the past. But the future can go better itself. Dont cry because it is over, smile because it happened. From the past, weve learnt that the life is tough, but we are tougher. Weve learnt that we cant choose how we feel, but we can choose what about it. Failure doesnt mean you dont have it,
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英语幽默小故事
英语幽默小故事
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三分钟英语演讲稿幽默
幽默英语演讲稿 love your mother 爱你的母亲 why are you crying, a young boy asked his mom? 你为什么哭?一个小男孩问他的妈妈. because im a woman, she told him. 因为我是女人,她告诉他. i dont understand, he said. 我不明白.他回答 his mom just hugged him and said, and you never will, but thats o.k........ 妈妈拥抱了他说,你永远也不会明白,但没关系... later the little boy asked his father, why does mom seem to cry for no reason?. 后来小男孩问他的父亲妈妈为什么似乎在无缘无故的哭泣? all women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say...... 所有的女人都会 常常没有原因地哭泣,这是他的父亲唯一可以解释的... the little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. 等到小男孩长大,成了男人的时候, 他仍然奇怪妈妈为什么哭. finally he put in a call to god and when god got back to him, he asked god, why do women cry so easily? 最后他把这件事祷告给上帝,他问上帝,为什么女人容易哭泣? god answered...... 上帝回答: when i made woman, i decided she had to be special. i made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, 当我创造女人的时候, 我决定把她造的很特别, 我让她的双肩强壮的足以能够承担整个世界,但是, 却让她的双臂温柔的足够去安慰他人... i gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection even from her own children. 我给她内在的力量去忍受生产的剧痛, 也让她有勇气承受无数的伤害, 甚至这些伤害有时会来自于自己的孩子... i gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇
英语幽默小故事10篇 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减 价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
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英语演讲稿幽默3分钟_幽默的英语演讲稿 3分钟 英语演讲稿幽默3分钟下面是wtt为大家整理的英语演讲稿幽默3分钟，仅供大家进行参考。 范文 【一】 Someone said “we are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book, whose pages are infinite”. I don’t know who wrote these words, but I’ve always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want it to be. We are all in the position of the farmers. If we plant a good seed ,we reap a good harvest. If we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all. We are young. “How to spend the youth?” It is a meaningful question. To answer it, first I have to ask “what do you understand by the word youth?” Youth is not a time of life, it’s a state of mind. It’s not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips or supple knees. It’s the matter of the will. It’s the freshness of the deep spring of life. A poet said “To see a world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour. Several days ago, I had a chance to listen to a lecture. I learnt
英语演讲幽默开场白.
幽默演讲——调侃自己（中英对照）演讲者如何调侃自己作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。As a speaker, I’ve only had two complaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they can’t fall asleep. And two, that I talk so long they can’t stay awake. 创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲[一个著名的演讲]相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛——特别是计划委员会。 As a speaker, he has often been compared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning ---- especially by the program committee. 幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来——你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。 Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program --- and you nod and smile graciously knowing full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast. 幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是裸体会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是裸体，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。 I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of the entire audience as being naked. And so, at this very moment, I’m standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eyestrain. Yes. 幽默注释：把观众想象成裸体，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。我本人不自负——我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。 Personally, I have never been conceited --- and I can’t tell you how much I admire myself for that. 幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我
三分钟初中英语演讲小故事
三分钟初中英语演讲小故事 My favourite super star is JJ , he has a lovely dimple and his eyes are also very lovely . Now let me tell you the story about JJ . He enterde the music indestry at the year 2021 , before that year ,he was only a boy who wrote songs for many super stars ,his songs were liked by many people but no one care who was the writer . He was noly hard to write songs because he like music ,he thought music has it soal , if you sing it by heart , it well be lived . I like a song of him , it's name is CRIES IN A DISTANCE , the song tells us ,nothing is sad if we belive the hope . He has many difficulty , but his song says , cries in a distance , can't stop the tremble , I'm just waiting my turn , hiding will never , save me forever , the guns gonne get me for sure . Dear god I pray why won't you be my friend , come to me and take my hand ,like mama would say everything will be ok. Now he is not rather a shy singer and performer , the lyrical songs make him mature ,and now he is a man or not a boy . He is a real super star with many fans ,the improve mark a big step forward confident . Good morning, my dear teachers and friends! My name is Li Bingke, from class four O five. Today, I am very happy to be here. My topic is “Our School”. My dear friends, welcome to our school! My school is very beautiful! It has a big playground. We can play and do some sports there. Near the playground, there is a garden. Many trees and flowers are there. So the air is very clean and we can hear birds singing in the trees. It is so wonderful. Our teaching buildings are around the garden and look like our teachers’ arms to welcome us. We can draw pictures in the art room on the first floor and read story-books in the library on the second floor. My classroom is on the third floor. It is clean and bright. We like to study in it. The computer room is on the fifth floor. We can sing and dance in the music room on the sixth floor. What a lot of fun! We can have lunch in the canteen near Defang Teaching Building.