中美婚姻观的差异英文论文汇总

On Differences of the Marriage Concept between

Chinese and American

Introduction

Traced back to primitive society, there is the so-called marriage. It is the law of nature that opposites attract makes the mammals live and multiply. Therefore, marriage is a normal and necessary social phenomenon. Because of the different social environment, the human concept of marriage and the mode of combination are also different. The culture of China and America is different, especially the concept of marriage. The United States is a cross-cultural social group and it is composed of many cultural groups of society. The Americans’ mentality are characterized by freedom love, independent and the fondness of exploring, adventuring and enterprising; While we Chinese mentality mainly is a kind of care and the consciousness of compassion. It is based on the two different points of view that people's understanding of marriage is different. About the marriage, someone vividly metaphor: "for the Chinese, marriage is more like a commercial activity, so called management marriage; for Americans, marriage is more like playing house, full of freedom. So there are much differences of marriage concept between China and America.

Chapter One the Differences Reflected in the Marriage Concept Between Chinese and American Ancient and modern, the human natures are the same; they all have desires, joys, sorrows and the psychology of love and hate. But due to the differences of geographical environment, historical background, development process and other aspects, each nation and has its features. The differences may reflect in many aspects, such as the ways of choosing mates, wedding ceremony and so on.

1.1 the Ways of Choosing Mates

1.1.1 the Chinese Way of Choosing Mates

Since ancient times, “be matched for marriage” is the ways of choosing mates in China, which means both sides are well-matched in social and economic status. The idea is so ingrained in China. Although, since the reform and opening, with the development of economy and the deepening of the communication between Chinese and western culture, the younger generation is no longer subject to the constraints of China's traditional thought and they are freedom to choose their mates, most of people can not get rid of the constraint of society and family. If free love to choose the mates, first of all, they must be approved by their parents. If there is big disparity between two family conditions, parents will not agree. If the man’s family condition is poor, her parents will never agree too. As a popular saying “The economic base determines the superstructure”. Only well material base can provide a stable life. No matter in rural or city, getting married is a large expense. As we all know, nowadays people are getting more and more reality. House is the precondition. If one man has house and car, he must be admired by many people. Before long, there is a hot debate in

micro blog, which talks about how much it spends when a man gets married. The result shows it is very common that men married a daughter-in-law can spend hundreds of thousands. In a famous dating show, "if you are the one”, one female guest said, "she would rather cry in a BMW, than smile on the bicycle”. According to the internet, it reflects the current state of mind of many women.

The TV plays series “The naked marriage age" reflects the reality of modern marriage: firstly, to get parents recognition; secondly, arrangement of pregnant plan; thirdly, solving financial difficulties. Besides, refusing the lure of the outside city and achieving the unity on the concept of life. This is all sorts of problems after 80s.

1.1.2 the American Way of Choosing Mates

The freedom to choose mates is the dominant concept in America. Because Americans have the characteristic of personalities. For love and mating, young Americans are completely based on their fondness. In America, men and women who in love care more about whether they are suitable, namely whether are fit in characters. They do not care about each other's family background, education level, and even religion. Parents will not interfere with their children but give their blessing. Marriage-seeking ad often can be seen in newspapers and magazines that, Chinese men list their accomplishments: degree, occupation, economic status, and so on. While American men list is their hobbies and characteristics. Because the American is looking for a partner, one that has similar tastes and interests, one that have mutual affinity. Americans do not care much about other's appearance, stature and age. A beautiful Chinese woman was marry to an American, she jokingly asked her husband if he felt a little proud when took her out to meet his friends, he asks why, when he was told the reason, he became more puzzled. He said that I marry you not because what you are so call "good condition", but feel that we share common interest and pursue a similar life. He also said certainly that you are beautiful, but why others envy

me? This reflects the American way of choosing mates according to ones disposition and hobby, without caring too much about each other's family background, appearance and economic conditions.

1.2 the Attitude Toward Marriage

1.2.1 the Chinese Attitude Toward Marriage

One of the main reasons resulted in different way of choosing mates between Chinese and American is that they have significant difference on their attitude toward marriage. Chinese people pay attention to interpersonal relation of interdependence, marriage is absolutely not the simple combination of two individuals. Parents help their sons to marry daughter-in-law, which superficially hope that his son can soon organize his own family, but actually it is for the whole family. In the ancient times, marriage is an important event among families. Even the relatives of many generations would be involved in. Undoubtedly , the newly married couple would worship the ancestors as soon as they enter in the family. Recently, a popular topic "the feeling of happiness”, although most people living standards have improved, the feeling of happiness fell instead. Marriage directly affect the feeling of happiness. Chinese people treat marriage like a Chinese man for a woman; they have no equal point of view. According to a sample survey of the Tianjin women's federation, 81.7% of people treat the children as an important factor to maintain marriage. From that, we can definitely say that the marriage of Chinese people is for others, as the marriage is mainly for carrying on ancestral line, serving for the old, which is seen as the obligation and responsibility of the family. Besides, Chinese women are the most patience women in the world. The thinking of “Marriage woman likes the water which is puling out.” They think after marriage they already an individual; and need to solve her problem by her self. Chinese people have better tolerance is also because they love to pin their desire to

achieve in the next generation. Having this hope, to bear an unhappy relationship in a marriage, is not a big deal any more.

Of course, with the development of the society, more and more people, especially young people gradually get rid of the bondage of some traditional concepts. They no longer simply think that marriage is just for carrying on ancestral line. For them, marriage is not only a kind of family obl igation but the personal right. What’s more, as a member of society, they have the inexorable right to be responsible for their own life and future.

1.2.2 the Americans Attitude Towards Marriage

America is a young country, which consists of many parts of the world and many immigrants. Until now there is still a large number of immigrants enter the country every year. They have a strong personal struggle and competitive consciousness. The diversity of American culture and social environment make many people to accept such life creed: Every man for himself and God for us all; every man is the architect of his own fortune. They think marriage is a combination of two individuals, as long as both sides reach the legal age to married, the third party has no rights to intervene. Americans are independent and reality, very few people marry for forming a family. In American’s character, equality plays a significant role. The realization of being equality is deep in every American’s heart. Compared with Chinese people, they have less ability to tolerate the partner. They never oppress their affection. They know it very clear that as an individual, they have rights to gain equality, even in spiritual or marital. They think more highly of the romance in marriage, they have higher expectation of the quality of their life. They would not to bear in marriage. The main purpose is to find a lasting heterosexual life partner, so that they can satisfy themselves in physical, psychological and social communication. So they must choose a congenial people. They consider that marriage is one of their individual rights but not the obligation; it is a kind of form rather than a responsibility. When asked what is the

purpose of marriage, three-quarters of Americans said that it is the "mutual happiness and fulfillment" of adults rather than "birth and raising children”. They think that love is the guarantee to maintain a lasting marriage.

1.3 the Wedding Ceremony

1.3.1 Jollification - Chinese Wedding

Traditional Chinese weddings are always filled with red things to bring auspicious blessings and respects. And even wedding customs reflect traditions from Chinese philosophy. The Chinese regard the color red as the symbol of happiness, success, luck, faith and growth. They like red very much, which comes from worship of the Sun. In traditional Chinese weddings, there are double Xi characters in red, red scarves, red flowers and the bride wears a red coat. The wedding ceremony shows harmony between nature and people. A marriage is not only a merger of the couple; traditionally, it symbolizes the merger of two families. So the wedding ceremony should reflect the holiness of marriage, drawing the attention of relatives and friends. There is harmony between nature and the people inside. Inviting relatives and friends to the wedding symbolizes the formality and the relationships between people. During a marriage, two families become in-laws. The ceremony reflects the importance and family status of the parents. After the ceremony, the bride and the groom usually burn money and food as offerings to the gods. As the fire consumes the offerings accompanied by the sound of firecrackers, god accepts the gift, indicating that there is harmony between nature and people. The sound of musical instruments in the wedding is usually loud to express the voice of the people. The sound should be loud enough to let nature know, and it also demonstrates the importance of the marriage. The food the bride eats has cultural significance in traditional weddings; the bride usually has red dates, peanuts, longans and melon seeds. The meaning is evident in the

Chinese pronunciation of these four foods. When they are said together, it sounds like "Have a baby soon."

1.3.2 Solemn – American Wedding Ceremony

It all begins with engagement. Traditionally, a young man asks the father of his sweetheart for permission to marry her. If the father agrees, the man later proposes to her. Although most weddings follow long-held traditions, there's still room for American individualism. For example, the usual place for a wedding is in a church. But some people get married outdoors in a scenic spot. A few even have the ceremony while skydiving or riding on horseback! The couple may invite hundreds of people or just a few close friends. They choose their own style of colors, decorations and music during the ceremony. But some things rarely change. The bride usually wears a beautiful, long white wedding dress. She traditionally wears "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue." The groom wears a formal suit or tuxedo. Several close friends participate in the ceremony as attendants, including the best man and the maid of honor.

As the ceremony begins, the groom and his attendants stand with the minister, facing the audience. Music signals the entrance of the bride's attendants, followed by the beautiful bride. Nervously, the young couple repeats their vows. Traditionally, they promise to love each other "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." Finally the minister announces the big moment: "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride!"

At the wedding reception, the bride and groom greet their guests. Then they cut the wedding cake and feed each other a bite. Guests mingle while enjoying cake, punch and other treats. Later the bride throws her bouquet of flowers to a group of single girls. Tradition says that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next to marry.

1.4 the Attitude Toward Divorce

1.4.1 Chinese Attitude Toward Divorce

With the development of economy, more and more people have found their position in society and they have their own career. As a result of the social competition pressure, the time of communication between the couples seem to be less and less. Day after day they are alienated. Besides, under the influence of western culture, ultimately, they go their separate ways unavoidably. Thus the divorce rate is on the rise. But for Chinese people, once they are married, they will go through the hard time together and their love will be everlasting. China is a humane society, and where humanness there is warmth. Apart from working, people can make an appointment with two or three of their friends to the teahouse or cafe, chatting and drinking, how happy and emotional appeal they are. When having happy things, they happy together. Instead, when having unhappy things they concern and care for each other. This relationship, even if not together is mutual induction. In Chinese society, the interpersonal communication is unobstructed, thus couple quarreled caused by emotional stress can easily relax from other interpersonal communication. Such as when couples quarrelling, the wife can go back her parent’s home, resting for a day or two, or to find a good friend pouring out their feelings. The husband can chat with friends in the tea house. Over a period of time, they go back to home. The couples are easy to reconciliation. Even though they do not restore to the previous state, under the pressure of the society, they are ashamed to divorce.

1.4.2 American Attitude Toward Divorce

As is known to all, the United States is a country of high divorce rate. We can often hear the reports about some public figures for the second time, even for the third time dressed in a wedding dress going into the church. Why Americans are so casual toward divorce? Why appear this kind of social phenomenon? From the analysis, we know that the American mentality belongs to a “wonder” type: inquiry, creative, and progress. Amer ica is

a multicultural country, Americans advocate personal freedom and self-reliance. Personal major problem do not rely on the help of relatives and friends, but directly depend on the government. As a result of the American social system, the interpersonal do not depend on each other so much, so, the emotional communication between people is reduced to a minimum. But marriage is a kind of emotional life, which, quarrels or arguments are inevitable. In the United States, the emotional communication between people is more limited, marital conflict is not easy to get guidance. When accumulating over a long period, it easily causes a rift and emotional trauma. According to the latest statistics show that about 60% of all marriages end in divorce in the United States. Only 20% of the second or third married couples will be happy. 80% married again and again, which ends in divorce. More than one million children saw their parents' divorce every year. Among babies that born this year, half of the parents will divorce before their children 18 years old. Although divorce is very necessary, but the high divorce rate reflects the certain social issues.

Chapter Two the Origin of the Difference The social system of China and America is different, thus it is inevitable that there are different concept of marriage. However everything has its origins. There are many causes of the different marriage concept between China and America. Such as historical background, economic development, religious beliefs, social values and so on.

2.1 the Comparison of Historical Origin

China is a nation with 5000 years history, the feudal society last for twenty-three thousand years. The traditional Confucian culture has deep influence on ancient marriage and family. Under the influe nce of Confucian culture’s thought of "grand unification", the fusion of two families is not simply a couple combination, but the process of the whole family participate in. In ancient times, men do farm work while women engage in weaving. These ethical ideas have been influencing until today. "The parents arranged for their children’s marriage" is the way of choosing mates that lasts for thousands of years.

America is a young county consists of many different immigrants coming from all over the world; it is a newly developed federal republic country only with two hundred years of history. It’s characterized by multi-ethnic, multi-culture, relative open economic and cultural degree, democracy and freedom. Since the establishments of American, this kind of concept have been penetrated into the minds of Americans, such as, dependence, equality, fraternity, the personal achievement and material wealth, accordingly their marriage concept seems to be more free, open and equal.

2.2 the Comparison of Religious Belief

Buddhism has introduced into China for one thousand years, people believe that there

must be "Buddha” control their destines. Buddhism is contrary to the laws that “a man should get married on coming age, and so should a girl”. It does not advocate marri age, but typical “throwing up families and being monks”

In many western countries, especially in Britain and the United States, people believe in Christianity, most of them are pious Christian. Christians consider that the harmony between men and women is fundamental. Men and women should kind to each other, love each other and promote each other. The marriage of the Christian mode is: God will decide, for personal interest’s combination, loyal and love to each other forever. The different religious ideology, thus be bound to the difference in the marriage.

2.3 the Comparison of Economic Development and Social Ethos

Since the reform and opening, with the development of economy and the deepening of the communication between Chinese culture and western culture, the younger generation is no longer subject to the constraints of China's traditional thought; they have the chance to choose mates. Many young people began to free love, but when thinking of getting married, most would choose “suitable". The economic co ndition is the first condition of women in choosing a mate. China is still a developing country, the central and western regions are still poor areas. So, many people tread marriage as a springboard, if one marry to rich families, it would be like rebirth.

America is characterized by the higher economic level, a short history and absence of the influence of the feudal remnants. Therefore, it could early carry into the industrial revolution. Just because of above factors, the economical status seems more equal. When choosing mates, generally, they do not care about family background, education degree, paying more attention to the fact that if they have similar tastes and interests.

2.4 Chinese Collectivism and American Individualism Marriage

Values

China is a culture group that treats collectivism as the core values, and personal interests should obey collective interests. It pays attention to cultivate a harmonious, tolerant of interpersonal relations. The behaviors of Chinese families’ ideas often treat the ir own collective interests as the center.China is influenced by Confucianism, family members are not completely equal, and marriage is a significant impact to both husband and wife. In China, marriage is no longer belonging to personal problems; it contains morality, responsibility, sense of honor and so on. Chinese people are proud of modest and oppose to overly expose their selves. Therefore, Chinese culture reflects the characteristics of community which are not allowed to put personal values take precedence over group interests. In China, marry a person is married him all the sum of social relations. The essence of our traditional marriage concept is: family first and personal happiness insignificantly. Under this traditional idea influence, for thousands of years, numerous people give up a lifetime of love and happiness in order to get peace of mind and self comfort. The small family certainly gives way to the collective.

Americans advocate independence and freedom, its unique culture origin forms the values of independent thinking, rights and equal idea. The America emphasizes individual equality, independent development and right consciousness, which advocates personal values take precedence over group interests. In American society, the mainstream view is the family is always more important than work.

Chapter Three the Influence of the Different Marriage

Concept

In recent years, with the rapid development of economy, great changes have taken place in young men and women's concept of marriage; the traditional view of marriage and love have faced unprecedented challenges. Whether the concept of marriage is positive or not, directly related to the people’s mental health, study and work, which affects the overall quality of young people and the overall level of development, affecting the national quality and social development in the future.

3.1 the Influence of Marriage Concept in China

With the rapid development of economy and society, people's living standard are improved greatly, Hedonism of western capitalist culture has had a huge impact on our daily life. Meanwhile the idea of money worship, individualism and other decadent ideas also have quickly spread in the society which causes great impacts on traditional concept and marriage concept. Nowadays, people become more and more reality, when choosing mates, they care much about one’s economic condition.

Money can't buy you love, but in modern China it can bring you the pick of 50,000 of China's prettiest girls after one of the country's largest online dating agencies held a competition to find the perfect match for 18 of its dollar-millionaire members. Earlier this year one female contestant on a television dating show caused an online outcry when she flippantly remarked that she would "rather be crying in the backseat of BMW than smiling on the back of a bicycle"。The brazen nature of such dating competitions, has raised concerns in China about society's obsession with money and the extreme commoditizing of

sex and relationships。

Money worship is seriously harmful to the society. From the perspective of the development of people, it deprived of the richness of human nature and makes people become slaves of money. Certainly, the marriage can not be happiness. For they simply care about money, do not consider if they are suitable. From the point of society, the prevalence of money worship would make the society lack of social moral and faith. Most of Chinese marriage concept still traditional, in my opinion, it may be good for our society.

In China, par ents often interfered with their children’s marriage, which is called arranged marriage. It has many impacts. First of all, men and women are arranged to get married, they do not know each other clearly. Thus there would be great possibility of divorce. How could they gain the happiness? Besides the relationship with their parents may be getting worse and worse. But for Chinese people, once they are married, they will go through the hard time together and their love will be everlasting. Therefore in my opinion, there is good aspect of Chinese marriage concept, China is a warm country, and the relationship between people is easy to get along with.

3.2 the Influence of Marriage Concept in America

As is known to all, the United States is a country of high divorce rate, which causes serious problems. First of all, in a complete family, parents are easier to establish good relationship with children. Besides, high divorce rate is a serious problem that treating to the health of millions of innocent children and the stability of American society.

Marriage is an important social charity. It has a wide range of positive significance to children and adults. As we all know, America is an open, democratic country. They are freedom to choose mates. For young Americans, they are completely based on their fondness. While it causes a lot of problems. Such as there are many homosexual in America.

Even if the homosexual is legal in America now, it causes a hot debate on many countries. In my opinion, most people against homosexuality, the combination of different gender is a real marriage. Homosexuality would make the sexual confusion in the country. In addition, love freedom would make the illegitimate culture more serious. No matter for people themselves or family and society, it will be unfavorable.

However, as the freedom to choose their mates, Americans may have stronger feeling of happiness.

Conclusion

The essence of marriage is mutual love, wonderful life and the continuation of his own life. In order to finish this paper, I have consulted many materials, which will definitely be helpful for me. This paper analyses the different marriage concept between China and America and the causes and influence of it, which will be useful to the people to know more about the two countries. Different culture system between China and the United States has the different cultural values, so it is natural that there are large differences of the marriage concept. We can not say which kind of values is good or bad. Everyone has his own way of life, with the increasing international communication, the intercultural communication between China and the United States is becoming more and more frequently, which makes the two countries’ values from perception to recognition, then the y mix together slowly. It will be a great realistic significance to better understanding the United States and the world.

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