幽默英语笑话对话精选

幽默英语笑话对话精选
幽默英语笑话对话精选

幽默英语笑话对话精选

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老师正在讲课,彼得打起瞌睡来了.

Teacher: Peter!Tell us, what's the biggest in the world?

老师:彼得!你说说,世界上什么最大?

Peter: Well, well.eyelids.

彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮……

Teacher: What?Eyelids?

老师:什么?眼皮?

Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world.

彼得:是的,老师.因为我眼睛一闭,眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了.

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

对话形式的英语小笑话-英语小笑话 非常短

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Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, “Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late.” At this point, one passenger became furious. “For Pete's sake,” he shouted, “If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!” 一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音:旅客们请注意,我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。 过了一会儿,旅客们又听到机长的声音:各位,你们猜怎么啦?我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了。 正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说:看在上帝的份上,如果我们再掉一个引擎,我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。 对话形式的英语小笑话篇三 A ne wspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out inthe Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?” 一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅? The winning repl y was: “The one nearest the exit.” 获奖的答案是:最接近门口的那一幅。 看了对话形式的英语小笑话的人还看了:

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英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下: Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"

The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.

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英语情景对话,自己和舍友5个人在课堂上表演过.材料是自己整合了几个小故事和网上的对话小片段,在此为需要帮助的同学提供点参考.为了更好的说明,中间穿插了汉语.(英语水平不行啊).主要以娱乐为主.故事大概是这样的,有一个老师(也是旁白)和他的四个学生,一个美国人,一个印度人,一个中国人,一个日本人.看到这儿,应该可以猜到内容了,恶搞日本人的.对话如下: Pangbai: Long time ago, I was a teacher in a village and My name is Hutu and I have four students: an American. a Chinese , an India and a Japanese. Now they are coming . 四个人登场,进行自我介绍 (印度人):Good morning, boys and girls. I’m India and the monitor of the class. (中国人): Hello, everyone. I’m Chinese. (美国人): Hi, I’m American. (日本人,自我介绍的时候鞠个躬,显示所谓的礼仪): Hi, I’m Japanese and my English is very poor; Pangbai: During the National Day ,they travelled from Xi’an to Shanghai passby Luoyang. It’s said that some interesting and funny story have been happened when they travelled. Now , they will show us what actually happened in their trip.

英语短文故事十篇带翻译

英语短文故事十篇带翻译 英语短文故事 短文一: The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.” 短文二: During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of approximately $1million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil. 短文三: Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child. Pat had seen babies in other people’s houses and had not liked them very much,so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too. One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby’s arrival.“This house won’t be big enough for us all when the baby comes,”said Mr.Taylor. Pat came into the room just then and said,“What are you talking about?”“We were

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情景一A:你是北京交通职业技术学院的学生李磊,被派往机场迎接来自哈佛大学的White 教授。你询问他飞行是否愉快,并表示飞机没有晚点就是最好的事情了。B:你是来自哈佛大学的White 教授,你感谢李磊来接机。15个小时的飞行你很累。你希望能够赶快去酒店洗个热水澡,睡一觉。情景二 A:你是学校秘书王小姐,见到了来自哈佛大学的White 教授,你邀请他周日参加你们学校50周年校庆,并在周日下午做一个关于Lifelong Study 的讲座。告诉他全校学生都会参加,并相信学生们会有所收获。B:你是哈佛大学的White 教授,你被邀请周日参加北京交通职业技术学院50周年校庆,并在周日下午做一个关于Lifelong Study 的讲座。你询问了题目、具体时间和地点、参加人员等问题。情景三A: 你是Annie,你的姐姐Jennie下周日结婚,你打电话恭喜她新婚快乐,并祝她早生贵子,并表示一定会按时参加他们的婚礼,期待姐姐穿婚纱的样子。并建议他们巴黎度蜜月。B:你是姐姐Jennie,你下周日结婚,你妹妹打电话祝贺。你表示感谢,并邀请他参加你们的婚礼派对。你询问妹妹对去哪里进行蜜月的建议。情景四A:你是Annie, 你邀请你的搭档Jennie周日一起去看京剧---你们的共同爱好,你们都认为京剧是中国传统文化,体现了中国的文化历史,应该吸引更多青年人喜欢。B: 你是Jennie, 你邀请你周日一起去看京剧,你表示感谢并询问见面的时间地点等内容。你表示现在越来越多的人喜欢京剧了。要赢得更多人喜欢,京剧需要融入新的元素。情景五 A:你是李磊.你的朋友王宇搬入了新房子,你去拜访。你带了一瓶红酒作为礼物。你夸赞了新房子:很大,阳光充足、装修漂亮。 B: 你是王宇。李磊来你新家做客并带了礼物,你表示感谢。你请李磊留下来吃晚餐,并欢迎你经常来做客。情景六A:你是ABC公司总经理秘书Annie, 你接到了来自客户Tommy的电话,他想和总经理谈一下订单发货的事情,但经理在开会。你打算记录留言并转告经理。B:你是客户Tommy,你想想和总经理谈一下订单发货的事情,你希望尽快发货以方便圣诞节前的销售。经理不在,你决定让秘书转告,并期待经理尽快回电话给你。情景七A: 你是Annie, 你最近瘦了10斤,你的方法和健康:每天3千米的长跑,周末游泳一个小时,合理饮食,多吃蔬菜和新鲜水果。B:你是Jennie,你很羡慕Annie最近瘦了10斤,你询问Annie减肥的方法。你觉得自己生活方式不健康:睡得太晚,不爱运动,吃太多肉。你打算改变,从下周开始每天跑步和注意饮食。情景八A: 你是Annie,你来自内蒙古,现在在北京上学,你表示不太喜欢北京的气候,太干燥。而且夏天太热。不过你觉得北京冬天比你们家乡暖和。你觉得内蒙古的空气更好,晚上可以清晰看到很多星星。你邀请你好朋友Jennie 暑假去你们那里玩。B:你是Jennie,你是北京人,没去过内蒙古。你和来自内蒙古的Annie聊天,你询问她对北京天气的看法。你表示北京夏天没有空调不行,北京的空气正在逐渐改善。希望有机会去内蒙古看看。

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甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, you are right, I'm the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you....Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, let's begin. At first , talent show, number one, let's welcome. 乙:(风情万种,妖娆妩媚地走进来,给观众一个飞 吻):oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right? Yeah, I'm Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,(打个响指) come some music.(搞笑舞,自由发挥). (跳完,鞠躬,向观 众谢幕), thank you,(面向导演), honey, is it a wonderful performance? 甲:(作目瞪口呆状), 乙:(在甲眼前晃手),oh, darling, are you Ok? 甲:eh...my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.

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