老友记第一季-21中英文字幕

第二十一集

Mother,just once, can we go to lunch... 妈妈,能不能就那么一次,我们一起吃饭时

...and not talk about what I'm wearing or where my career is going? 你不要谈论我的衣着和我的工作

Or who I'm dating. 包括我和谁约会

-Ready for the check? -God,yes. -准备好买单了? -天哪,是的

-I'll take it. -No,darling. -我来吧. -不,亲爱的

I said I'll take it. Here,take it. Go. Run. 我说了我来.这里,拿着,走,跑

Very sweet. 真甜蜜啊

-And on what they pay you -Career. -他们到底为什么给你工钱. -工作

You don't have to worry about me. I'm doing fine. 你不用担心我.我做的很好

I'm afraid this has been denied. 我想这张卡被禁用了

That's impossible. 这不可能

That's all right,dear. Here you go. 好吧,亲爱的,用这张吧

The One With The Fake Monica 六人行第1季第21集假莫妮卡

How'd someone get your card number? 怎么会有人知道你的信用卡号码?

No idea. Look how much they spent. 我也不知道,你看他们花了多少钱

You only have to pay for the stuff you bought. 你只须付你所买的东西

Still,it's just such reckless spending. 我知道,他真是挥霍无度

When somebody steals... 我想他偷去你的信用卡时

...they've already thrown caution to the wind. 根本就已忘了王法

Wow,what a geek. They spent $69. 95 on a Wonder Mop. 真是个变态,花了69.95元买“神奇拖把”

That's me. 我买的

You see,when I say geek,I mean 你看,我说变态,我的意思是

The hell with it,you bought a $70 mop,you're a geek. 怎么回事,你花了70块买一把拖把,你是个变态

Oh,yuck. Ross,he's doing it again. 哦,讨厌.罗斯,他又这么干了

Marcel,stop humping the lamp. 马修,别再侵犯那盏灯了

Stop humping. Now,Marcel,come Come here,Marcel. 停止侵犯.现在,马修,过来,马修

Oh,no. Not in my room. I'll get him. 不,又到我房里了,我去抓它出来

You've got to do something about that. 罗斯,你得想办法阻止

What? It's just a phase. 什么?这只是个阶段

Well,that's what we said about Joey. 我们当时也是这么说乔伊的

You'd think you would be more understanding. 你们能多给点理解吗?

I know. But we're not. 我明白.可是我们不能

Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal. 你们冷静点行吗?这又没什么了不起

-Marcel,stop it. Marcel. Bad monkey. -What? -马修,停,坏猴子-又怎么了?

Let's say my Curious George is no longer curious. 我只能说,我的好奇乔治玩偶不再好奇

You are not still going over that thing. 摩妮卡,你还是无法释怀

-This woman's living my life. -What? -这女人过着我的生活-什么?

She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me. 她过着我的生活,而且过得比我好

Look at this. Look. She buys tickets to plays I wanna see. 看,她买的戏票是我一直想看的戏She shops where I'm afraid of the salespeople. 她买的衣服是我早就想买的

-She spent $300 on art supplies. -You're not an artist. -她花了三百块买艺术用品-你又不是艺术家

I might be if I had the supplies. 如果有艺术用品,我或许已是个艺术家

I mean,I could do all this stuff. Only I don't. 我本来可以的,只是现在不是

Oh,Monica,come on. You do cool things. 摩妮卡,别泄气,你做的工作很酷

Really? Let's compare,shall we? 真的?我们来做比较,好吗?

Oh,it's so late for "shall we." 现在说“好吗”有点太迟了

Do I horseback ride in the park? 我到过公园骑马吗?

-Do I take classes at the New School? -No. -我在新学校上过课吗? -没有

She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother. 她拥有我想要的一切,而且她没有我妈

-How about Joey Paponi? -No,still too ethnic. -乔依帕波尼如何? -不好,太有种族意味了

-My agent wants a more neutral name. -Joey Switzerland? -我的经纪人认为,我该取个中立一

点的名字-乔伊瑞士?

Plus,I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I'm this big: 而且,我应该就是乔, 乔伊让我感觉…这么大

Which I'm not. 可我不是

Joe,Joe,Joe Stalin? 乔…乔斯大林?

Stalin. 斯大林

Do I know that name? It sounds familiar. 我认识这名字吗?听得很熟悉

Well,it does not ring a bell with me. 我没印象

But you're more plugged into that show business thing. 但是你是深深陷在表演事业之中了啊Joe Stalin. 乔斯大林

You know,that's pretty good. 这名字很好

You might wanna try Joseph. 或许你想试试乔瑟夫

Joseph Stalin. 乔瑟夫斯大林

-I think you'd remember that. -Yes. -我好像记得这个名字-是的

Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. “别了,鸟儿”乔瑟夫斯大林主演

Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof. “屋顶上的提琴手”中的乔瑟夫斯大林

Hi. Yes,this is Monica Geller. 对,我是摩妮卡盖勒

I'm taking some classes with you, and I was wondering what they were. 我想有在你们那里上课,我想知道是哪些课

I've had a recent head injury and certain numbers 我最近头部受伤,只记得一些数字了Barbecue. Oh,did l? See,there you go. 野外烤肉.哦,我应该去吗?好的

-What are you doing? -All right,great. -你在干什么? -太好了,谢谢

Great. Thanks a lot. I'm going to tap class. 太棒了,非常感谢,我要去上踢踏舞课

To dance with the woman that stole your card? 和偷你信用卡的人一起跳踢踏?

To see what she looks like. 这样你就可以知道她长什么样子

I'm sure her picture's up at the post office. 我可以肯定她的照片就挂在邮局里面

I should get to see who she is. 我应该去看看她是何方神圣

You're kind of losing it here. This is becoming a weird obsession. 摩妮卡,你有点失去理智了, 你被这件事所完全操控

This is madness,I tell you. 我跟你说,这叫做疯狂

For the love of God,Monica, don't do it. 上帝保佑,摩妮卡别这么做

Thank you. 谢谢

-What do you think? -Lots of things. -你们怎么认为? -很多

-Which one is she? -May I help you? -你认为是哪一个? -我能帮你们什么吗?

No,thanks. We're just here to observe. 谢谢,我们是来参观的

You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. 舞蹈课不是参观来的,舞蹈课来跳舞的

Spare shoes are over there. 那儿有舞鞋

What does she mean? 什么意思?

I think she means "You dance a dance class." 我想她是叫我们进去跳

-Come on,come on,come on. -Really? -来吧,来吧,来吧-真的?

Do you see anybody you think could be me? 有看见我的分身吗?

Last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class. 各位,上回有人在教室留下酸乳空瓶

-Let's not have that happen again. -She could be you. -希望别再发生那种事-她可能是你

Let's get started. 开始吧

Five,six. Five,six,seven,eight. 五,六,五,六,七,八

-Okay,I'm not getting this. -I'm totally getting it. -我跟不上-我完全融人

Do you ever feel like you're so uncoordinated? 你不会觉得,自己有时毫无协调感吗?

What? You click when they click. 怎么了?只要他们踢的时候你踢就是了

All right,everyone grab a partner. 各位找个舞伴

All right. And my dead mother said you are it. I'm with Rachel. 我死去的妈说就是你,我和瑞秋Great,it's gym class all over again. 这下可好,体育课的旧事又重演了

You can come up to the front and dance with me. 无所谓,你过来和我一起跳

Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare? 我何不脱下衣服来场恶梦?

It's okay,it's okay. I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late. 没关系,我来了抱歉,我迟到

Okay,here I am. So who's the new tense girl? 来了,那个紧张的新人是谁?

-She's your partner. -Hi,I'm Monica. -你的舞伴-我叫摩妮卡

Oh,Monica. 摩妮卡

Hi,I'm Mon 我叫摩…

-Nana. -Monana. -…娜娜-摩娜娜

-It's Dutch. -You're kidding. -是荷兰人的名字-你在开玩笑吧

I spent three years in Amsterdam. 我在阿姆斯特丹住了三年

Pennsylvania Dutch. 我是宾夕法尼亚州的荷兰人

And we're dancing. Five,six,seven,eight. 开始吧.五,六,七,八

Hi. 嗨

-Hey. Where have you been? -I just got back from the vet. -你上哪儿去了-我刚从兽医回来She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone? 她没叫你戴那种塑胶套吧?

She says Marcel's humping is not a phase. 她说马修乱性不是暂时的

Apparently,he's reached sexual maturity. 显然它已性成熟

Hey,he beat you. 嘿,它超过你呢

She says,as time goes on, he's gonna start getting violent. 她说它会越来越暴力,侵略性越来越强

So,what does this mean? 这代表什么?

I have to give him up. 我们不能再养它了

I can't believe it. This sucks. 我真不敢相信,这真是太扯了

You just got him. How could he be an adult already? 我不懂,你才刚养它,它怎会突然成熟了?

I know. One day he's this little thing... 我知道,之前它只是个小东西

...and then he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. 不知不觉中它就紧抓住我的腿不放的小东西

Isn't there any way to keep him? 你没有任何办法再饲养它吗?

No. The vet said unless he's in a place... 没办法,兽医说除非有个地方…

...where he has regular access... …让它获得正常的…

...to some monkey loving... …猴爱

... he's just gonna get vicious. …否则它会变得愈来愈残暴

I just gotta get him into a zoo. 我得将它送到动物园

-How do you get a monkey into a zoo? -I know. -你如何把它送进动物园? -我知道

No,that's popes into a V okswagen. 不,那是教皇进入大众汽车

We're applying to a lot. Our first choice would be a big state zoo. 我们到处申请, 当然大型州立动物园是优先考虑

You know,like San Diego. Right? 比方说圣地牙哥动物园

But that may just be a pipe dream. He's out-of-state. 那可能只是遥不可及的梦想,因为它在加州

My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility. 兽医说她认识迈阿密的朋友,或许有可能

But that's two blocks from the beach. It's a total party zoo. 那儿似乎离海滩只有两条街, 一定是个疯狂动物园

We found the girl. 我们找到她了

-Did you call the cops? -We took her to lunch. -你们喊警察了吗? -没有,我们和她吃午餐Oh,your own brand of vigilante justice. 你们自己的“自治正义”

Are you insane? This woman stole from you. 你疯了?那女人偷了你的东西

She stole. She's a stealer. 她偷东西,她是个小偷

After you're with this woman for 10 minutes,you forget that. 和这女人相处十分钟后, 你就会把这些全忘了

I mean,she's this astounding person with this amazing spirit. 她简直是奇女子,振奋人心Which she probably stole from some cheerleader. 她可能是从某位啦啦队队员那儿偷来的

-Take off their hats. -Popes in a V okswagen. -脱下他们的帽子-大众车上的教皇

I love that joke. 我喜欢这个笑话

-No way. No way did you do this. -Monana was very brave. -不可能,你不可能这么做-摩娜娜相当勇敢

We told them we were the Gundersons in room 61 5... 我说我们是615房的冈氏姐妹

...only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire floor. 结果波士顿塞尔提克已包下整个六楼

When they saw that we're short and have breasts.... 他们知道我们又矮又有胸部时

They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel. Me. 他们就把我们轰出来,我被轰出饭店,我Go,Monana. 干得好,摩娜娜

You ladies are not the only ones living the dream. 不是只有你们活在梦中

I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. 我得去为我不认识的人倒咖啡,不用等我了

Oh,by the way... 对了

...tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show. 明天我们要去参加百老汇的试演

-Excuse me? -There's an open call for Cats. -什么? -“猫”剧还有一个缺额

I'm thinking we sing "Memories"... 我想我们可以去唱“回忆”

...and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say? 让自己当个傻子,如何?

No,no,no. Remember who you're dealing with here. 不,记得你身旁的人是谁

I can't even stand in front of a tap class. 我和你不一样我连站在踢踏舞教室前都有困难That's because of your Amish background. 因为你有阿米许的血统

-What? -You're Pennsylvania Dutch,right? -什么? -你不是宾州荷兰人吗?

Right. Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned. 对,直到我买了吹风机被逐出村里

I was just like you. And then,one day, I saw a movie that changed my life. 我过去也和你一样有一天我看了出改变我人生的电影

Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? 看过春风化雨吗?

I thought that movie was so incredibly boring. 我认为这电影实在是太…无聊了

That thing at the end where the kid... 那孩子在电影的结局时…

...kills himself because he can't be in the play? …自杀了.只因他无法演出话剧?

It's like,"Kid,wait a year. Leave home,do some community theater." 这是在干什么? 他再等一年离家,到社区话剧团去

I thought,"That's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back." 走出电影院时我想, 我这逝去两小时的生命,永远不再回

That scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. 这想法震惊了我,从此我便及时行乐

Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. 那么我不敢推荐“窈窕奶爸”了Oh,God. 上帝

We didn't get into Scranton. 我们进不了斯克兰顿了

That was,like,our safety zoo. 那是我们保底的动物园

They take,like,dogs and cows. 他们连狗和牛都收

See,I don't know who this is harder on,me or him. 我不懂是我还是它比较难受

I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it. 我想应该椅子最可怜

Marcel. Marcel. Marcel,no. 马修,马修,马修…不

Good boy. See? How can nobody want him? 乖,为何没人要它?

Somebody will. 一定有人会要的

You know,there already is a Joseph Stalin. 早就有人叫乔瑟夫斯大林了

You're kidding. 开什么玩笑

Apparently,he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered people. 显然他是屠杀各种民族的俄国独裁者

-You'd think you would've known that. -You'd think I would've. -你怎么会不知道. -你怎么认为我知道

Hey,how about Joey Heatherton? 嗨,乔伊.汉密尔顿

Come on,I told you I don't wanna go back to Joey. 拜托,我告诉过你不要用回乔伊

What do you think a good stage name for me would be? 你认为我该取什么艺名?

Flame Boy. 火焰男孩

Where exactly is your zoo? 你的动物园在哪儿?

Well,it's technically not a zoo,per se. 就技术上而言不算是动物园

It's more of an interactive wildlife experience. 而是一种互动式野生动物体验

Let me ask you some questions about Marcel. 我想请教你几个关于马修的问题

-Does he fight with other animals? -No,no. He's very docile. -它会和其他动物打架吗? -不会的,它非常温驯

Even if he were cornered? 如果被逼进角落里去时呢?

Well,I don't know. Why? 我不知道,干嘛问?

How is he at handling small objects? 它掌控小东西的能力为何?

He can hold a banana, if that's what you mean. 它会拿香蕉,如果你是这意思的话

What about a hammer or a small blade? 铁槌或小刀呢?

Why would he need a blade? 为什么?为何要小刀?

If he's up against an animal with horns... 面对狮虎或有角的动物

...you got to give him something. 你得拿些东西给它自我防卫

Otherwise,it's just cruel. 否则就太残忍了

-He got into San Diego. -What? -它能去圣地牙哥了-什么?

We came back from our walk. The phone was ringing.... 我们散步回来声见电话铃响

He's in. 然后它就录取了

Did you hear that,Marcel? San Diego. San Diego. 听见没,马修,是圣地牙哥

You're making a mistake. San Diego's good... 你大错特错了,圣地牙哥环境良好没错

... but I'll start him off against a blind rabbit... 如果你把它交给我我就能训练它对抗瞎眼的兔子

...and give you 20% of the gate. 而且我还可以给你百分之二十的门票收入

Where have you been? 你到底跑哪儿去了?

Monica and I just crashed an embassy party. 我和摩妮卡刚跑去参加大使馆舞会

I think I kissed an archbishop. 我想我吻了大主教

But,of course, it could've been a chef. 当然,他们有自己的厨师

-Are you drunk? -No. -你喝醉了? -才没有呢

-I'm lying. I am so drunk. -Oh,God. -骗你的,我醉醺醺的-天哪

You know what? You could've called. 摩妮卡,你该打通电话回来的

I've been worried Monica. 我一直在家里担心你

Water rules. 好过瘾

Yes. Yes,it does. 没错

The restaurant called. They wanna know if you're showing up for work. 餐厅今天又来电了, 他们想知道你还要不要去上班

Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today. 不去.我今天要去大苹果马戏团

You're gonna lose your job. This is not you. 你快丢掉工作了,你变了

No,it is me. 不,这正是我

I'm not just the person who fluffs the pillows... 我不只是那种必须拍松枕头

...and pays the bills right away. 帐单一来立刻去缴款的人

You know,when I'm with her, I'm so much more than that. 和她在一起,我就超越了那种人

I'm Monana. 我是摩娜娜

Hello? Yes,she is. Hold on a second please. 对,她在,等等

Monana,it's for you. The credit card people. 摩娜娜,你的电话,信用卡公司打来的

Hello. 你好

Yes? 是吗?

Oh,my God. 天那

-Thanks. -What? -谢谢. -怎么啦?

They've arrested Monica. 他们已逮到摩妮卡

-Hi. -Hi. -嗨.-嗨

How are you? 你好吗?

Not too bad. Fortunately,blue's my color. 不太糟,幸好我喜欢蓝色

How did you know I was here? 你怎会知道我在这儿?

Because I'm Monica Geller. 因为我是摩妮卡盖勒

It was my credit card you were using. 你用的是我的信用卡

That I was not expecting. 真是没想到

I want you to know, I didn't turn you in. 我想让你知道,去报案的人不是我

-Thanks. -No,thank you. -谢谢你-不,我要谢谢你

You have given me so much. 你带给我太多了

I'd never have gotten to sing... 如果不是你,我就不可能…

... "Memories" at the Winter Garden Theater. …在冬园剧场唱“回忆”

Actually,you only got to sing "Memo" 老实说你只开口唱了“回”而已

I can't believe you're here. What will I do without you? 我不敢相信你会在这儿失去你我该怎么办?

Who's gonna crash parties with me? 谁会和我去大使馆宴会

Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus? 谁带我去大苹果马戏团?

I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women... 我在25个女人面前尿尿展开一天的生活

...and you're worried about who'll take you to the circus? 你却担心没人带你去看马戏? Well,not worried, you know,just wondering. 不是担心,只是怀疑

There's nothing to wonder about. 没什么好怀疑的

You'll go back to being who you were. That's who you are. 你继续做你自己,因为那才是真正的你

-Not necessarily. -Yes,necessarily. -那没必要呀-那很必要

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the Amish thing. 我不知道是为什么或许和你是阿米许人有关

-I'm not actually Amish. -Really? Then why are you like that? -我不是阿米许人-真的?为何你那么怪?

-You,by the door,in or out? -ln. -门旁的那个,加不加入? -加人

-You're getting it all wrong. -But at least I'm doing it. -后面的,你完全跳错了-至少我在跳This is the final boarding call for Flight 67... 这是飞往圣地牙哥67次航班的

... to San Diego at gate 42A. 最后一次登机通知

Okay,goodbye,little monkey guy. All right,I wrote you this poem. 再见,猴子小伙.好的,我会给你写诗的

Okay,but don't eat it till you get on the plane. 上飞机后才能吃

Thank you,Aunt Phoebe. 谢谢你,菲比阿姨

Okay,bye,champ. 再见了

There'll be a lot of babes in San Diego... 我知道圣地牙哥那儿,你将有许多漂亮美眉

... but remember, there's also a lot to learn. 记得要学习的也很多

I don't know what to say,Ross. It's a monkey. 我不知该说什么,罗斯,它是一只猴子

Just say what you feel,Joey. 说出你的感觉就成了

-Marcel,I'm hungry. -That was good. -马修,我饿了-这句不错

Marcel,this is for you. 马修,这是给你的

It's just,you know,something... 给你,你知道的

...to do on the plane. 在飞机上玩的

If you don't mind, I'd like a moment alone. 如果不介意我想和它独处

-Oh,sure. Absolutely. -Go ahead. -当然可以. -继续

Marcel,come here. Come here. Come here. 马修,过来,过来,过来

Well,buddy... 小兄弟

...this is it. 就这样了

Just a couple of things I wanted to say. 我只想说几句话

I'm really gonna miss you. 我会想你的

You know,I'm never gonna forget about you. 我不会忘记你的

You've been more than just a pet to me. 在我心中你不只是一只宠物

You've been more like a Okay. Marcel. 你更是…马修

Would you leave my leg alone? 能放开我的腿吗?

Would you stop humping me for two seconds? 能暂时不要乱来吗?

Okay,would you just take him away? Just take him. 马修…带它走好吗?带它走

Oh,that I were a glove upon that hand... 希望我是你手上的手套

...that I might touch thy cheek. 这样我就能抚摸你的脸颊

-That's fine. Thank you. -Next. -行,谢谢. -下一位

I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio. 我来试演“马丘修”角色的

-Name? -Holden McGroin. -名字? -麦克葛罗尼